Marriages Are Made In Heaven

The house is filled with chatter and banter, it's beautifully decorated, guests are pouring in, there is happiness all around. I am getting married to the man of my dreams. Actually no, I am just getting married and that should be more than enough. A 36-year-old lady is finally getting married and it just doesn't matter who is she getting married to ,what matters the most is that finally somebody has accepted her as wife and finally the parents are relieved of their burden and more than that the relatives, the neighbors, the house help, the washerman everybody can heave a sigh of relief because they are the ones who are the most concerned, more than the family members" Bitiya Ki Shadi Nahi Ki Ab Tak?" " Kahi Baat Nahi Ban Rahi Hai, Dikhne Me To Thik Thak Hi Hai, Fir Kyo Koi Haa Nahi Kehta?". Without any other thought it's just assumed that the girl is not getting married because she has been rejected, and if the so-called well-wisher is informed that the girl has been rejecting proposals then instantly comes the comment, "Itne Nakhre Karegi To Ghar Pe Hi Bethi Rahegi, Shadi Me Thode Bahut Adjustments To Karne Hi Padte Hai."And I don't understand what's wrong if Ghar Pe Bethi Rahi I mean it's better to live alone than to spend the entire life with someone you are not compatible with. I think one should be ready to adjust but there is a difference between adjustment and compromise. One should be ready to adjust but not compromise.

Today I am very happy not because I am getting married but I am getting rid of all the stupid questions and comments that were thrown at me whenever I stepped out." She is still a spinster" someone would say and the other would have pity on me " oh that's so sad" while some others would come up with an unasked rubbish advice, and the most concerned would come up with a proposal"My aunt's neighbor's nephew's cousin' s brother in law is yet to be married, send me Shikha's recent pic and I will forward it to them" " My son's friend is 40 he recently lost his wife, has two little kids, but so what, Shikha is also 36 and at this age one has to compromise, everything else is perfect, he is rich and 40 is not too old".These people were at least good enough to say"IF YOU WISH, I will meditate."

I am an educated, financially independent woman, I had greys at a very young age I don't color my greys, I don't like western clothes and since I don't wear western outfits I am tagged desi Behnji, and that was the reason I was not accepted by so-called modern highly educated boys, I was advised to color hair but I didn't because I feel a person should get a true picture of their prospective spouse I didn't want to portray something which was not true" This day's everybody colors their hair and there is nothing wrong in it and believe me it's not cheating somebody and what's wrong in doing it if by this you get the good proposal" my friend tried to explain to me I am ok with my greys why do I need to hide it so that I get married. I believe people thinking of going ahead together should get their blood test done rather than horoscope match, this is very important to ensure healthy offsprings, this would not go down well at all by the few who were ok going ahead with a Behnji. I believe not to make any comprise in marriage, because if you compromise, you kill the essence of the marriage, I didn't mind waiting longer for the right person rather than get hooked just because I am aging, rather I feel one should not get married if he or she doesn't find the person of his choice. Sameer had seen me at a cousin's wedding, he developed an instant liking for me, he sent a word across through my cousin and I met him I was dressed in a simple salwar kameez, we thought of meeting several times so that we can make a right decision, each time we met I was dressed in a simple Indian clothes, after just two meetings he said he was not thinking of going ahead.

6 months later I saw Sameer on a road waiting for a taxi, I stopped my car, he was very surprised to see I could drive, I came to know his tire was punctured and he had called for a mechanic, I asked if he had Satfany, he said he had but he didn't know how to change, I did it for him. Then we went to a coffee shop he said he never expected me to know all this because I came across as a Behenji. Why don't you dress up in modern clothes, wear some makeup and color the greys you look beautiful that's the reason I developed an instant liking for you when I saw you at the wedding." A very popular saying is, "Never judge a book by its cover", we all use it so often, we say beauty is skin deep but we say all this to put across an image of an educated person but we actually don't practice it "I said." What's wrong in dressing up?" He asked. There is nothing wrong and that's the reason I dressed up for the wedding because I believe in dressing up for an occasion." Wasn't meeting up a prospective groom, an occasion?" He asked " of course I answered and so I was dressed for the occasion am I going to be roaming around in the house wearing a makeup, should not the prospective get a true picture of the person to make the right decision, didn't it help you? You got to know that I am not as beautiful as I looked at the wedding."

He just smiled at me and said actually I didn't make the right decision I liked you as a person but you came across as a very desi Behenji type I mean not somebody from this era." " The problem is we define modernization by clothes, and not by the thoughts," I said. He gave a big smile and said I want to change my decision if somebody else has not got lucky he said. We are in the mandap, he holds my hand says," Finally I get the woman of my dreams" There is no man or woman of dreams, it's only a man and woman come together with common dreams to accomplish it together." I said." Ok ok, Ms deshi unromantic philosopher".