Love Vs Ego – The Age Old War

‘And yes she loved him deeply in spite of all the sufferings’

On 4th June, 1992, a baby boy was born to a middle class Marwari family in Kolkata who had it all pre-written. The little bundle of joy was not fit enough to be brought back home from hospital and had to undergo a couple of surgeries. Here is where a strong woman came ahead and fought for her only son’s life, where the entire family sat back leaving everything on The Almighty. She ran from hospitals to hospital and even went to her maternal city for financial and emotional support. Yes, she was not given any type of support by her supposedly big, united family.

By God’s grace and the baby’s fortune, he could now function normally and could lead a normal life. The woman was not aware what was in store for her after she returns home with her baby. As a disciplined and obedient Indian female, she returned back even after being dejected and neglected by her husband’s family. Yes, that’s the situation in India, where females (especially married females) are supposed to bear and tolerate everything just to keep up the name and fame of both family-sides!

She was back. No one was there to welcome the mother-baby duo. The grandparents were a little delighted since they had an heir to their family, but not because the mother and baby were back safe and sound. Things went on and the woman tried avoiding and ignoring things she felt could affect her child due to the immense love she bore in her heart for her husband and his family. After all, she wanted a bright future for her child and could not stand against the family in spite of all the sufferings she had to go through each day. Entire family would support the husband and put the blames on the woman. She would take it all!

The child was growing pretty quick, and things were a little in shape now. Just then, as all bad things come to an end, the good phase was also nearing an end! The little boy met with an accident! He fell on a glass slab and cut his hand and forehead deep. It was a moment of anxiety for the mother again and she had to run all alone to the hospital to get her boy treated. She was at least now being supported financially by her husband to bring up her child (for more sufferings thereafter). She was verbally and physically abused by her husband on every occasions she questioned him for any wrong doing. So now, she had no option than to bear it all, since the boy was also growing and would imbibe negative energy through such scenes at home.

The boy grew up and was now ready to join high school. He had never tried intruding between his parents’ matter, but now things were moving out of control. He was unable to see his mother in pain. She hid her tears behind the pillows and sometimes the veil which was a mandatory affair in any Marwari family. She kept believing in God that someday her husband would realize his mistake and would stop being abusive with her. But to her despair, the situation was taking a worse turn! He turned more and more aggressive. Resorted to alcohol and would come back home and thrash his wife. Not to forget, he was facing a hard time with his business as well. Now, he stopped providing financial support as well and would leave the mother and child to find a way to feed themselves.

The boy was a bright student and so he decided to provide tuition to little ones and earn to support his mother. Just then, the woman made another "big mistake" – she decided she would do a home-based business and try to earn just enough for survival. The entire family banged in her and threw abusive language and taunts. She had no option than to carry on with her business without letting her family know about it. Every time she dealt with a customer, she had to ensure that the customer was not linked to the family by any means. Unfortunately, the husband saw the goods at his son’s room one unfortunate evening and all his tantrums came back to life. He was a chauvinist and an egoist who did not want his wife to work nor did he want to support her for survival. All he wanted from her was to bow down and beg for the financial support, which now she refused to do at once.

The husband became more and more agitated and now came to ill activities. He asked the woman to vacate the house and find shelter for herself and the son. However, he was not fine to go in for the legal separation, because it would spoil his good will in society. He was a coward and only wanted to rule over his wife and kid and show his supremacy. The woman even now decided to bow down and blamed her destiny for everything that was going on in her life since the last 25 years. She still had hopes that her husband would change, and would realize what wrong he had done with her. She was absolutely forgiving if he could ever admit the same.

Now, the boy had cleared his graduation programme and was also selected through campus recruitment in one of the top MNCs. It was time for all bad days to come to an end! He was to join his training in Pune and with a very heavy heart left the city and his mother to start a new life. Both thought, now things would change and the husband would realize what he had being doing just because he was that powerful then. But, the problem aggravated, the husband was not happy with his child cracking into a big company, maybe because he wanted them to be dependent on him forever. He used to call his son each day not to ask if he is doing well, but to say, ‘Take your mother now, you are sufficient to support her’. He was a very sensitive child and could not imagine his parents apart in spite of all that he had seen through his growing years. He was nothing but opposite of what his dad was! Very respecting, understanding, forgiving and always ready to bow down and accept his mistakes!

One fine day, he received a call from his mother and the mother was very depressed and sad. She found out she was being given poison in her food and water and now she felt suffocated in that house. The husband was providing all justifications that he has not done any wrong, but had been proved to be guilty. The son rushed back to the city to help his mother in the best possible way. The father was again demanding them to vacate the apartment, but the woman was absolutely not ready to do so. And why should she do so after giving 27 years of her life, given thousands of opportunities to understand the mistake and work toward it. The father was ready to give some compensatory money to the mother and child, and wanted the two to vacate immediately.

The poor child was at despair, at one side he wanted justice for his mother and at the other side he didn’t want his father to fall ill (who is a heart patient). Ultimately, after so many discussions and fights, the husband-wife had decided to separate mutually without letting the world know about it and lead individual lives, again very much to keep up their pride in the so-called society.

Unfortunately, the husbands ego won over the woman’s love for him! “Women all over the globe should understand that they hold an identity and should stand against such wrongs from the very beginning and not nurture it. Sometimes, their faith in love fails over the egoism the society pries on her. She should exactly know where to put a stop when things go wrong and make her problems heard. Bearing a crime is equivalent to performing one! Be your Savior and Help Yourself!”