Just An Old Friend

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold. 

I was traveling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend’s wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch-mates. But what I didn’t know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after college farewell.

The smile that used to drive me crazy was again there, in front of me, with the same charm and again she was the center of attraction as she used to be in the college canteen. She didn’t notice me! It had been four years that I have not to listen to her voice. I still remember her words, when we were hanging out the night before farewell, “Sorry Rudra! I have to go from your life. I can’t stay anymore”

“Excuse me Sir.” said the crew member bringing me out of my memories which resided inside me for a few years. “Yeah.., here is the ticket” I fumbled. Yes, I used to be nervous after seeing her first sight in the initial days of the college. She always used to take my breath away.

I sat in the waiting lounge and my eyes were scanning each and every face, just looking for her. You always forget everything when it’s something related to your first love. I didn’t have breakfast and was not even feeling hungry. I finally heard her voice, “Mom I have checked in, I will call you when I’ll reach Bengaluru” she spoke with a soft voice. I rejoiced, “Wow she is also going to Bengaluru”. She was sitting a few rows behind She must be busy that’s why she had not noticed me, because earlier in college she used to get to know that I was nearby. Our friends used to tease her saying “Anita catches Rudra’s wifi.”

I never expected her to be in Delhi. She was a bit uncomfortable with the ambiance of the Capital. She used to be afraid of the so-called ‘Un-safe Delhi’. ‘We were both young when I first saw you,’ my phone rang, it was Goofy (Shubham) one of the five members of our college buddy group, “Kahan ho Yaar”, he shouted as usual. I informed him that I have reached the airport and will be at Bengaluru airport within three hours. He confirmed that Gopal (Shashank) and Baccha(Aman) have reached and were waiting for me. It is Divyansh’s wedding and we will all be together after such a long time. They wanted to give him a surprise as we had told him that we were not coming due to one or the other good reasons. You know, giving surprises is always fun and it’s more fun when the other person knows what surprised you are giving. JD (Divyansh) knew that we will be there at his wedding but still, he was acting that he was upset with us for not coming.

The announcement was made I rushed towards MC-Donalds and took the favorite meal of all, 

“One MC-allooTikki and one coke”. I grabbed it and rushed towards the gate. I was not afraid of losing her again because now I knew she was on the same flight and rather just two seats away from me. I was boarding the plane and there she was sitting on the first seat of the left side of the fifth row. She saw me while I entered. We had continuous eye contact until I reached there and sat on the first seat of the adjacent row to her. Though I had a window seat today I was not interested in watching clouds, I was interested in watching my ‘aani’. She saw coke in my hand and said: “You have not changed, I asked you not to have too much of soft-drinks.” In my college days, I always used to carry a soft-drink with me and she used to shout at me for the same. Unknowingly ignoring her concern for me, with a little smile on my face, I asked her with the same caring voice, “How are you ?” and the world seemed to be stopped, she didn’t say anything, we were just looking into each other’s eyes and we were ready to fly. 

“Please fasten your seat belts, we are ready for the Take-Off” announced the air-hostess.

The plane was heading towards height and so was my anxiousness of knowing what all happened in these four years. She would have guessed from my appearance that I have fulfilled the dreams that I had seen from her eyes. I was in a proper business suit with a laptop in my hand, completely a professional. I never used to wear formals neither was I formal regarding my career. 

She was the one who had shown me the goal I had to achieve, and I agreed to her because I thought if she is on my side I can go for even the toughest ride.

She started the conversation again, “So going to Divyansh’s wedding?” I surprisingly answered “Yes”, wondering how did she know! She answered reading my mind, “FB”. And the famous assumption made by all the boys came to my mind, ‘She still understands me.’ I wondered how stupid of me for even thinking that question. How can I forget Facebook’s ‘What’s on your mind’ and ‘Check-in’ have even answered various un-asked questions. She must have seen 

Divyansh’s status and Shubham’s check-in. She had all four of them in her friend list but being of the different branches they didn’t have much interaction. I was not her Facebook friend because I never made an account on Facebook.

“So how’s life going”, I asked formally. And the formal answer came from the other side 

“Going Good”. There is always a lot to ask from the one who left you once, but in my case, I had got all the answers before she was leaving. She asked for excusing her for five minutes, she had a friend sitting in the front row. I have never said no to her so how could I have broken the record that day.

Her asking for an excuse was the first conversation between us in the college. It was last night of college fest, and we all were dancing on the songs of The Raeth band performing live. The weather was getting more awesome after each song sung by the lead singer and we were dancing with full potential lost in the world of Music. Synchronized with the lyrics came a soft wise from behind “Excuse-Me” and I turned back. Who says you shouldn’t turn back in life, I was numbed seeing her beautiful eyes and I had fallen, finally fallen, in love.

“Please can you give us aside, you are blocking the way,” she said and managed her way out of the blush of boys. She was walking away and the vocalist was singing the song “Tumko, ab na jaane dunga.”, and I started singing along the song, in loud voice pointing towards her, “Tera hi rahunga, Jaan lo ye, heyy”, she turned back surprisingly and finally I continued with making an eye contact with her, “Tum meri ho.” And everyone started looking at us. The response was unexpected, she smiled and walked away. Even today whenever I listen to this song, I just close my eyes and remember the moment which changed my life completely. A situation comes in everyone’s life when a song’s lyrics make you remember of someone special.

Next day I was sitting, in the college canteen, with my friends and as obvious my leg was being pulled. At times you can even ignore a conversation with a girl, but the peers never let you do so. They make you remember the incident in such an optimistic way, that you will think twice before ignoring it. And we guys are like “Haan yaar muskurayi toh thi.” Peer pressure is, most likely, the reason for a guy to fall in love. She entered the canteen and sat on a table in front of me. 

Gopal said, “Jao bevkoof”. I went there and asked her friends to leave us for a minute. They first resisted a little bit but she asked them to do so by gestures. And here I gained confidence. “Sorry”, I apologized, “For yesterday,” I added seeing her question mark face. “I thought you were serious!” she asked ironically. “I was.., I mean I. amm...” She had a smile on her face, a smile that could make me do anything for her.

She knew that I was attracted to her since the initial days of college and it took two and a half years for me to speak to her. After a formal conversion and a coffee, she said “So now shall we move?”, “Yeah sure”, I replied. She continued with her sentence stopping me in the mid, “I mean to move together.” That day was one of the best days of my life.

We started hanging out together and shared the most comfortable and wonderful feelings with each other. I was completely in my dream world and was happy that my princess was there right in front of me. When we started sharing facts related to the family I got to know that her father had a completely different plan for her of higher studies and the plans were good but not affordable for me to pursue. That day I was shattered thinking of the fact that sooner or later I will lose her.

There are times you have to let go of your loved ones because of some unavoidable reasons but she was not just a loved one she was the only one I had ever loved. I never forgot her in these four years. The way she loved me, the way she used to pamper me, her care for me had made me feel special always. She used to take care of each and everything of mine, starting from my eating habits to my living style. “Had to breakfast?” she asked in a formal way. She showed concern but not as my Aani used to do. “Yeah, I had a burger.” I continued “So where had you been? Completed your studies or still pursuing?” This question of mine may be made her remember that this was the reason that she went away from me, that is why there was a small pause and then she started, 

“Yes I had completed my MBA from IIM Bangalore, then got placed in Goldman Sachs. I came only a month back to India after leaving the job and have joined Microsoft here.” I was glad listening to this stuff not because she had achieved what her father wanted but because I guessed that she is still single and I am now compatible enough for her. I thanked God that he has brought her back into my life. I wanted to tell her that though I had not done masters I was well to do and we could now be back together for the rest of the life with due permissions of our Parents.

“We are ready to land. Please fasten your seat belts.” The announcement was made and we were ready to come to the ground. I was sure of the fact that we could again be together because no reason was left for us to be apart. I was planning in my mind how to propose her for marriage after landing. Maybe when she would be collecting the luggage I would reach to her and collect it and will say I want to lend all your burdens, please be mine for lifelong. She knew that no one could love her as I did. And so she will come to me and give me a long hug, the same as my Aani used to give me. I was daydreaming and it was going to be true within 15 minutes.

The flight landed and she started leaving. I asked her to wait near the luggage collection counter. She said “Ok.” I reached there near the counter, took my luggage and was standing behind her to do what I planned. Her phone rang. She picked up the phone and said “Yeah I have reached, will reach within an hour,” noticing me she said, “should I call you later?” After a pause, she said “Acha baba, then hold for a minute.” I became a little uncomfortable and asked her “Who is on the call?” 

“My fiancé,” she replied. “Why you asked to wait?” she continued. I went blank and just replied 

“No nothing.” Maybe she understood but without any concern, she started walking away. She was going away from me once again. She continued conversation on the phone and just a few seconds after, she said: “Arey don’t be possessive, he was just an old friend”. “The dream I saw a few minutes earlier was broken into pieces.”

I wish she could have known that this ‘Just an old friend’ has stopped making new friends since she has gone from life. Her image was getting blurred she was lost in the crowd within seconds and was out of my life again. I wanted to ask her,

Kya tum hi thi wo chahat jo mera dil tod gayi thi,

Main dekhta raha masoom nazron ko aur tum muh mod gayi thi.

Kyun nahi aayi tu laut kar unhi yaadon ke zariye se,

Main aaj bhi hun khada wahan jahan tu mujhe chod gyi thi…

I came out of the Airport. The weather was completely different there in Bangalore. It was raining heavily maybe it was just to hide my tears from the world. My three buddies were waiting for me. 

Baccha came near and took the luggage asking, “How was the journey.” I replied “Just fine.”