Getting Rid Of Gutkha

Well I am sharing my experience especially with all those who are abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, especially alcohol, tobacco or narcotic drugs (…I doubt). In short, addicts.

I was born to a mother, inherited with a legacy of chewing tobacco, which I carried it further until 12th October 2006. I remember those days in my early teens, when the meals were always followed by the clattering sound of “SARAUNTA” (betel nut cracker) followed by an earthly smell of tobacco. The smell turned into fragrance as quality/brands of tobacco changed with a passage of time, Mainpuri --> Double zero [00] --> 120, sequentially to be precise. After completion of meals she perched on her favorite couch with her Paan-daani (a box gifted by my Naani’s mother and Lakhnawi descendant by birth) and when we brothers besieged her, raising our palm, seeking an offering which was always acceded but never included tobacco and never exceeded three pieces (tukdas) of betelnuts. We were always curious about her tobacco intake and one fine day, to kill that curiosity, we dared to consume some Pattis of tobacco along with betel-nuts. My brother instantly vomited, who later on subscribed to another form of tobacco consumption i.e. Cigarette. But I had this wonderful gene of my mother which gave me the exalted feeling of NICOTINATED joy. I could feel the surroundings revolving around me until I spitted it out.

With passage of time, the tolerance increased and enhanced quantity tobacco started occupying the space between my lower lip and the gums for a longer period of time. By the time I was inducted into the present services, I was a Gutkha glutton. A sheer agony was always conspicuous on my face in absence of such stuff. I was losing on my inherent quality of will power. I was indecisive especially at the times, when my tongue was not oozing nicotine from gutkha into my body. Birthdates, Jayantis or any festival date was marked with resolutions to renounce this addiction. However, it gave a temporary relief and always backfired with double the intake. In sheer pursuance to get rid off from this habit, my brain came out with different logics but the one which would have nearly relieved me of this habit was realization of expenditure incurred during all this period of my addiction…consumption on an average of Twenty gutkhas a day and habit spread over for more than one & half a decade cost me Rs. 2.50 lakhs (after considering NPV of Rupee)!!!…..sheer waste of money (& health).

Being a BANIYA, this logic sustained and de-addiction persisted for a bit longer period, but alas! It again backfired and my intake increased to 25-30 sachets a day after 2 months. Well, the ordeal continued until January 2006, when I fortunately came across an article in which a scientist working with Remote sensing wing of NASA narrated his experiences of leaving the habit of smoking. He had undergone the similar servitude as i did.

The riddening of my addiction after reading that revered soul is as hereinafter now. The article by that scientist was so articulative that I kept on reading again and again, convincing myself that this could be the last attempt and nothing better than this would help me to get rid of this problem.

In the meantime I got the news that my wife has conceived and I got probable dates of delivery in the month of October 2006. Accordingly as followed by that scientist, I immediately resolved for the date of delivery as my final day to have the last bite of this venom. I was complementing myself for being judicious to my soul as I felt that 7-8 months is too longer a time to be worried about relinquishing such a habit. Initially it was easy for me as the consumption continued at a same pace until 5-6 months were left. But yes whenever I bought these sachets, my brain always reminded me of the deadline set by me….."It’s OK now…but what will happen in October???" These reminders started pestering my innerself and irritated me at times and my body language started changing with passage of time. Slowly I started reasoning my consumption levels which was never the case earlier. Initially, I gulped the entire sachet at one time, now the quantity gradually halved. Initially there was no reason for eating this, but now I decided appropriate time for consuming it. I started switching the brands of Gutkha, with a reason that I have resolved for Brand ‘X’ and not ‘Y’. The fear of living without it was apparent. During this period, lot of factors arose which in turn encouraged me to continue with more of the intake. To cite one, we were given assignments, which included travelling and staying at an alien place for two to three days at a stretch. The job included inspections of the offices and stay at Circuit house. No sooner the hosts came to know about my habit of consuming Gutkhas, they started with bulk supplies. Well slowly obsessed with the idea of renouncing this habit, for the first time I told them a big NO. It was painful. I filled those voids, consuming PAN with less content of Tobacco, in case the urge increased. All the time and all the while during this period, withdrawal symptoms manifested in form frustrations or irritations even in trivial situations but my family tolerated all those vibes of mine which as on today appear to be dream. In short it was difficult. The backfires were there but yes they were periodical and on decline. I started taking solace in small quantities of intake, whenever the urge increased. During the last month of pregnancy, my consumption reduced significantly as the quantity of gutkhas narrowed down to one - two sachet a day, which was neatly placed in my purse, used both for consumption and as a tooth pick. Repeated use of the latter resulted in lot of tooth cavities. (Warning…Use a Gum floss instead of sharp objects) 12th October was the D-day for gutkhas and 11th night was the last for me to enjoy the company of such a vicious edible devil. The very thought of my wife getting operated ruled out constipation in the 12th morning. I remembered earlier similar operations when I used to guzzle in lot of gutkhas. But this time, I was mentally comfortable to part with them. Before departing for operation theatre, as per the rules of the hospital, I was called by the doctor in Pre-operation room where I met my wife. As usual I covered her cheeks with my palms and whispered, “….everything would be OK…chant the Namokar Mantra please……I will be doing the same outside” She looked different this time. A unique…pleasant…grinning....smile accompanied her looks, as if consoling me that she is really strong this time. Least to be hypocrite, I was in tears as they took her in front of my eyes to O-theatre. But that smile kept on intriguing me all the time while she was inside. After 20 minutes, they called me inside O-theatre with Neonatologist holding my new born kid and congratulating me. After three hours I was with her all alone and before I thanked her for all this, I asked the reason for that unpleasantly pleasant smile. She replied… “I loved that original (foul) smell of your breathe while you were consoling me”. Well now I share the same status as to what is felt by the scientist post de-addiction. I cannot bear the smell of gutkha chewed by anyone in my surrounding similar to what the scientist feels on smelling the smoke of cigarette. He develops vomit sensations but I can visualize a similar inner agony of getting rid of this habit in that soul.