From Jenny R.

30 September 2019

She disappeared into a blurred image for her last chemo session. That sight which no one wants to see for there loved ones. I couldn't believe that it was her, who I hated the most in my life until a few months back. But for last few days, I have seen her suffering which caused me such a pain to even visualize. 

My hands still in the air like- I was waving her goodbye forever...

Doctors said, “There are only a few percent chances that she will come back”. Those few percents were love, blessings and praying. 

I sat there on the couch and closed my eyes for a few minutes. I heard my name, Ryan being called. I thought it must be her in my psyche. But when I opened my eyes, I saw her parents sitting beside me. Ruby aunty said something but I was not in my proper conscience to hear it.

I said, sorry aunty I couldn't hear what you said.

Ruby aunty, “We didn't want to see her like that so we stood at a distance”. 

Yes, I said, again switching off my mind. 

Remembering all those memories that, she left with me. 

However, I noticed that her father was sitting quiet and tense. 

Of course, you will be worried about such a situation when your only daughter is suffering and its time between life and death. But otherwise, Ronnie uncle is a cheerful, positive, forever young and a handsome man. Ruby aunty, on the other hand, is an extremely beautiful woman who at the same time is humble, soft-spoken and not a type who would show off what she has in her life. Both are educated and affluent which they have earned. Uncle is into business and aunty is a scientist. Even after many years into the marriage, they didn't have any children and that is when they decided to adopt a child from the orphanage which ruby aunty used to visit. 

They called her, “Jenny” who is now battling for life. 

I always saw them as the happy couple who are made for each other. I always saw love and what it takes to love someone from them. On the other hand, I have never seen love through my parents. My father (Sam) cheated my mother (Sara) and left her for women who happened to be my mother's friend. All this happened when I was young and because of that, I don't have any memories of my so-called father. My mother never cursed him or said any ill. And always refuted the allegations on him by her family. I always wondered how can she even think of him as a good person. 

To that, she used to say, “Fondness”. Which I never understood. Once you love a person and that same person cheats you. How on earth would you feel fondness or for that matter any other emotion? 

My life was spinning in front of me like a drama.

I came back from those flash of memory.

And read - In memory of Jenny R. (1993-2019) on a black marble stone.