Fireflies and Stars

My light subdued 

Like a firefly in a jar

My glow dimmed

My overthinking mind at war

It's 3AM and it's still dark

Just enough darkness for fireflies to shine

This pain, this distress I feel now 

Is transient and then I'll be fine

I wipe away my tears and my disappointment along with it. Wouldn't life be easy if you could do that? The tears were gone but the disappointment still sat nice and tight in my chest, mocking me for my optimism.

He said it was going to be different this time. And he had been nice to me for the past few weeks. The girl had not stopped calling him though.

Every time she called, he seemed helpless.

"I can't cut her off like that," he appealed to me.

"She's just 20. She'd be devastated if I left her in the lurch like that."

"You know, I love you. This was just a fling. I resisted but the girl wouldn't give up. She had nobody else to support her."

Can a lie become the truth

If repeated day in and out?

Can the victim be convinced 

That all was well and there was no reason to pout

The truth shone bright like a firefly in the dark 

Blinded by his lies, the light I refused to see

We choose what we wa

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nt to believe 

I foolishly found comfort in falsehood and fallacy

One day, he tells me that the girl was pregnant.

No.

He got the girl pregnant.

"You know how much I wanted a heir. How can I not be by her side at this time?" 

He sobbed.

"I don't want to leave you. This is just a temporary arrangement. I'll stay with her. But my heart will be here."

A switch flipped in me. The mist of love that had covered my eyes disappeared and I saw him for what he was.

"Get out of the house now," I said calmly and firmly.

"Baby, you don't understand.."

"I said NOW, " I quickly interrupted and showed him the door. 

He has always been a smart guy. He quickly got up and left. He knew his tricks were not going to work here anymore. So, he left to find shelter in a place where he could be his manipulative self.

The documents were signed. He took the big house that I had been paying the EMI for, the car, and all the jewelry he had gifted me. I didn't mind. 

All I was left with was the small house gifted by my father. But I felt lighter than ever. I realized that that I'd spent all these years convincing myself that fireflies were celestial. I look up now and see the night sky glow. I see the stars and the moon. I finally see the light that will show me the way.