False Highs

For the inter-galactic Big Buzz Bar on Jupiter, there were only two kind of clientele that mattered. Those who paid for a lot of drinks and those who could be easily mugged. Yes, the two groups did overlap to a great extent.

That’s what made the work of Arun Shani a lot easier. All he had to do was keep serving everyone their drinks. Then when they had that hazy looks in their eyes, he would quietly try and sneak away with anything he could. Absolutely anything.

Once when a tentacled old baron from Alpha Sector 5 was snoring, Arun had stolen his XXX library membership card with a quick swipe of the baron’s back pocket. The card was sold later for quite a large amount.

So tonight shouldn’t have been too difficult for Arun. Except he didn’t know that the man at table 10 who was looking dreamily at the ceiling was in fact as sober as a sage.

In his Hawaiian shirt and shorts, Inspector Dhodi Moti would currently not have been mistaken for a police officer in any corner of the galaxy. He hoped that with this desperate attempt, he could finally get that department promotion.

Not knowing Dhodi’s identity or ambitions, Arun walked up to table 10. Then just as he was about to gently untether the gold chain around the inspector’s neck, a hand pulled him away. In fact, dragged him away.

“Arun quickly take the order of table 11! I’ll deal with this gentleman.”

Swearing under his breath at Tanvi Thako, Arun walked away. He went into the kitchen to get on with washing the dishes.

Soon Tanvi joined him.

“Why Tanu? Why didn’t you just let me make a move?” He demanded angrily.

Teenage orphans, Tanvi and Arun had always tried to stick together.

Tanvi sighed as she collected the dishes from Arun and placed them to dry in a laser chamber.

“Arun, how can you still not know the difference between real and fake drunks?”

Tanvi then shrugged and answered her own question.

“Maybe you only see instead of also trying to smell!”

With his hands still covered in bubbly chemicals, Arun scratched his chin.

“Okay Miss Sherlock, you saying he didn’t smell drunk?”

Tanvi clicked her tongue impatiently.

“That’s just rule one dude!

“Okay maybe you can still crack this. Look at the feed footage and tell me where that man is staring.”

Arun shuffled towards the video panel. He saw that Dhodi was staring at the ceiling.

“Well so? Drunk men can stare at ceilings Tanu!”

Tanvi stepped in besides him and changed the angle of the camera

“Sure they can. But would they do so when just to the left, there’s a screen that’s streaming Cheerleaders Reunion 240?

“Something just feels off about him.”

Arun then cross-referenced the video screen-snap of Dhodi with the inter-galactic search engine. Immediately he saw images of Inspector Dhodi being felicitated at various police events.

Smiling, Arun shook his head gently.

“What would I do without you Tanu?”

Tanvi grinned at him and playfully patted him on the shoulders.

“Yeah buddy, nice try. But you still owe me a treat!”

Arun grimaced at that.

“Sure, sure. You’ll get it.”

Saying so, the orphans in the Big Buzz Bar got back to work.

Out on table 10, a fantastically bored Inspector Dodhi did finally get a few drinks more than his liver could process. When he woke up the next morning in his little apartment, he realised that his gold chain was no longer on him.

Inspector Dodhi never did officially document this crime.

THE END