Do I Still Love You?

Do you remember the first time we went out?

No decorated place but a long walk and lots of things to talk about.

Do you remember our first midnight call?

When I answered your sleepy hushed voice to listen to the drowsiest confession of love.

Do you remember the first time I went down on my knees?

Trying to hold my hand with your trembling fingers to tell me something that I had repeatedly heard a hundred times over.

I usually walk down that memory lane and our stupid talks make my eyes glitter but then in the middle of the day when I am consumed by your thoughts, reality hits me and it sucks out the air from my lungs.

I miss the essence of your fingers lingering over my face.

I miss the look on your face which told me that at a time all you wanted was me.

I miss the way my compliments made you blush.

And how can I forget the colour of your eyes when the sunlight reflects making them the most beautiful shade of brown ever.

Crazy.

Do I sound crazy in love?

Maybe I am.

Maybe I will always be.

Maybe you are responsible for it.

Or maybe I let you do this to me.

Damm.

How dangerous it is to fall in love with someone who makes you happier than you’ve ever been, to make you question what happiness truly was before you met them.

And Damm.

How excruciating it is to live with the memories and not the person.

The memories which haunt you in your brightest days.

For I believed love is what makes you feel good about yourself.

For I have never felt the pain so deeply.

For I thought you would never leave.

It’s pathetic really, how much I still hope it’s you and me in the end

But maybe, it’s time for the fighter to be fought for, for the holder to be held and for the lover to be loved.