Departure

There it was again. The lightness in my head, which made me, want to slow down. But today I couldn't. I checked his bags again. They were packed and ready by the door, as he always liked them.

He clicked on his phone to book a cab. There was still time.

He pushed his cup away and stood up from the table. The sudden move made his face go pale and he grabbed a chair to steady himself.

“Are you alright? Giddy with happiness?” I said, supplying a good reason.

It worked cause he shook his head and relaxed. I cleared our cups quietly from the table and went to the kitchen.

In the 8 years of our marriage, I had never felt the need to have a child because he kept my hands full. He was always full of stories. We talked endlessly, and laughed at the same jokes. I admired his innocence and simplicity but also worried about it. We made a good pair.

It was a life that I had come to like till he told me about Sheena. She was new at her office and he couldn't keep himself away. He had looked miserable and I wasn't sure that he had the capacity to decide what was best for him. So I did.

I had volunteered to break the news to our respective parents and he couldn't be more relieved. It was his suggestion that I keep the apartment while he moved with Sheena. He would keep the car. The lawyer had assured us that the formalities of separation would be smoothly settled.

He was looking at his phone again. The cab would be 5 minutes away. The impatience was showing.

“Sit down, there is still time. Should I get you more tea?” I called out from the kitchen.

He slid into the nearest chair. By now his throat would be parched.

“Anita, a glass of water.” He called out as if on cue.

“Sure.”

I continued to crush ginger for tea. As the pestle met the mortar, the sound of pounding echoed in the apartment. I was feeling worn out.

“Water, please” His feeble voice sounded strange to my ears.

He was gasping for breath now.

It was time. I went out and sat on the sofa next to him. I sipped my tea.

There were beads of sweat on his forehead. He made a pathetic attempt to stand but his legs had stopped responding to his commands now.

“It will be very quick I promise. You won’t feel a thing. First you lose control on the body and then your heart stops. I bought the very best for us.” I explained as clearly as I could. My words were getting slurred.

He fell down from the chair. I bent down next to him and put his head on my lap. He must be scared. I held him tightly to soothe him. He was breathing deeply trying to reach the last reserve of energy. I closed my eyes.

I would never have to worry about him again.