Dear You - A Letter To My Future Self

Dear You,

(A letter to my Elder Self)

 

If you are reading this, Congratulations! 

You and I made it so many years even when I thought I won't make it to the next few years. With each problem I face I wish along with the problem my life ends as well. Honestly I am so frustrated with life that every now and then I literally have to look for reasons I am still alive on this planet. I doubt my own existence sometimes because I feel like I don't belong here to this place to the land of selfish manipulative hypocrite beings. Does it happen to you too? (Although I wish the answer to it is a big no). I would like you to know and remember some things which you might forget and trust me when I say, time is the best teacher, you fall; you get hurt and then you learn. I am in the constant falling and getting hurt place right now, I wish by the time you are reading this you don't get hurt anymore and you have learnt enough lessons from life.

 

I have been sad for days, my best friend has been ignoring me for a while now and I don't seem to understand why. I don't know what is wrong or right and why do people who you think would stay with you in the times to come are the first ones to leave? Why do I keep caring about people and end up getting hurt each time. It seems like a cycle now. I make a friend, have some happy days, I care too much or may be the new trend friendships come with a short expiry date and I end up hurt and all alone.

 

People are leaving, one after the other and I can't seem to comprehend why is it happening to me. And this has got me thinking, what is wrong with me? I have tried to change myself. I have decided to not make a fool of myself anymore by caring too much or trusting too soon. I ensure to take time before I trust people, do not get too attached to them and be pretty much like the worldly beings behave. I already feel much better for not ending up hurt every now and then but sometimes I feel very lonely.

 

I have  met a new person. He seems like a nice guy and we have got so much in common. It feels good to have him around and I can share almost everything about how I feel about life. We practically talk the whole day and know each little details of the other's life. I feel like I have got a new best friend, the one who I think would actually never leave my side. It continued long enough for me to discover different sides to my personality. The dormant pieces of the puzzle I never knew I had. I was turning into a better person. Words fail to describe how grateful I feel to have him in my life. I often imagine how different things would have been if I had not met him, if the real me was still locked in some corner never wanting to come out of its comfort zone. If I would still be able to speak my heart out and not keep collecting my feelings deep inside me. If I would still do what I actually wanted and not care about what the world would think or say and the list goes on. Things didn't work out but for sure he made my life better many folds and I can't thank him enough for being there for me. I am happy in my life and I hope he is too. We don't talk anymore and neither do I know what is he upto. From a total stranger to the person who knows me the best to again a stranger.  Ironically, the most known stranger of my life.

 

Lessons for you to learn : Don't give up on people entirely, not everyone is the same. But remember, do not depend too much on people and end up getting hurt. Maintain the balance between the people time and the ME time (I know you will thank me for this). LOVE yourself first and then the world. Learn from my failures and do not get success to your head. Be humble and always be thankful to almighty for giving you yet another day to live and make the most of the day. 

 

So what's going on in your life?

Are you happy? Satisfied? At peace? 

Have you found the love of your life?

 

I want to thank you for pulling yourself through all those difficult times and staying alive so that I can actually have a life, a job of my own, the independent life which seems so fascinating as of now, I can't help but wonder about it. I also hope you value the gift of life now that you are all grown up and adult and mature, the one with an experience in this cruel world. I wish you still have the hope that you can do better and life one day will be what all you wished for. I know for now that I have no plans about what I want to become when I grow up but I am pretty sure that you are doing the best of your abilities in whichever field you are (of course I don't know as of yet what will I become in future). I assume that you are travelling and crossing the destinations off the bucket list that I very happily made and living life to its fullest on your terms.

 

Take care of yourself. 

 

P.S. I love You and I can't wait to be You ♥

 

Much love, 

-Your stupid younger version!