Dark Shade Of Me

I can feel it still, screaming all the way through every nook and corner. It blows my mind every time I think about the people inside me. I pretend to be happy but the envious looks of my friends bring out the truth in me. But, there's always a helping hand next to me. He says, bud, the world right here is alone, but for the sake of not being scared, it walks with the dunce mob. No wonder, envy is never wrong. Since my adolescence, he's been always there for me supporting the efforts which were totally dependent on the people around me. Thus, I follow him. Every day I and envy walk together, twitching the humans around us because we share a common goal, a common belief: that we could do something like them but were unable to. They never gave us a chance to express ourselves fully, unconditionally.

I walked down further in the aisle of life and met this person narcissism; we sure are enchanted by him. He is actually different . People around me give up and try to distance themselves every time I ask them for the slightest of help. I always feel uneasy, maybe sad and wondering if there could be just a frolic, happy world where my friends and I can chase each other. Envy and narcissism, my buddies and partners in crime were thrown out of their home back when they were born. Loss of friends meant that I had two people that always had my back. We walk down the passages and highways to watch the deserted area of the city, black like the people around me at night and blue , just like the monotony of its routine. Spending almost the whole tim in singing the tales of alliteration, similes, metaphor and imagery. Judging the world in our way and being more hypocritical than the others. Narcissism has a philosophy of life; everyone thinks that life is under control, being punctual and captaining his or her ship, making everything perfect. They don't know that hours are a just a bit more inclined to shadows, a bit more inclined to the dark. I agree though; narcissism wants to be the smartest kid on the block . Those cafés outside our school get us a particular seat. Blood boils inside our veins as if we can change the whole meaning of our lives. We always had the correct thought. Envy says that he's a lazy product of Ares. I believe him; he likes to work on computers.

Deceived by this world, we three go deep into this powerful earth. It's says that I'm weak but I'm not alone; there are weaker persons out there too. I am an autistic person and being a different species, I'm ignorant. Is it necessary to build a wall against all the odds in me? My mom says that I'm out of the box, I can get as many friends as I want, but I can't tell her that I have better ones. Neighbors always complain about my company, even warn my family that someday I'll be the reason for their destruction . It hurts less but increases the aggression in my head against humanity. Envy says if I'm useless then living with me is even worse. That's what my neighbors do. What's better than reciting a verse which no one can. My friends gifted me a guitar and said that it'll attract if I give tunes to my words. Distorted faces everywhere mock us everyday. My friends say that I can shine better, it never matters that a psychological disease relishes my limited thoughts. I live inside the curiosity and imagination, that's my greatest power. I believe them, because in the lonely woods and the confined area of my tree house, my friends are the only one to support me.

Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps I need to get new company, but the fact is that the world might say that I'm living wrong, I need those dear friends of mine, narcissism and envy.