Cross Destiny

There is a world, inside you, outside you. Each day passes with the question: why we are here? We are here to cherish life, to enjoy it, to laugh, to cry. Ever since we are born, we are learning about life, about this world. There are so many colours to it, not only greys and blacks. There is a life born every second of the day. There is a death at another. There are festivals, happiness, humanity, care, love, family.

There is a hue of day, a blend of night. A picture-perfect world, of hope, of light, This is a world of you and me, Let’s go together, do not shy. But never mind a tint of blue What comes must follow the hue. But there is another world too, of which you and I have no clue. Where there are no festivals, no hope, no faith,

Where destiny collides its wrath, Where a smile is not a smile so fake, Not even a family for God’s sake.

And they struggle; to eat, to sleep, to smile and even to cry. 

There is a mundane day, a night so dry. They leap so deep, all life they weep, All wound but no sigh, they all believe. Because there is another world too, of which you and I have no clue.

[lights off]

[Exit husband and wife]

[lights on]

[enter the group of the third gender people]

TG1: [Ranting] Our days are so useless. We do not do anything.

TG2: We do not do anything? [laughs] we bright up everyone’s life. We go to there houses to bless them. We are respected like god. We are enough. We are no less, sister.

TG1: [in disagreement] God? Huh, in which world do you live? They do not respect us, they are scared of us. And we do not go there to brighten anyone’s life, we go there because that’s the only thing we could do for our survival, to beg, to beg at places, at houses, at stations. That’s it. This is what we are, a secluded society of third gender people.

TG1: what do you want? Tell me? Do you want to quit this life? It's not possible until you die? Do you want to die? Do you? This is not what we have chosen, this our destiny sister, this is our destiny. We are not meant for this world outside us. We have to find our survival inside. We cannot let our community choke and die asking for acceptance. 

We don’t need any. We deserve better but not this what you want. Do not feel bad, sister. Let’s go, share some happiness, let’s go and give blessings to someone, what if we are not blessed. You know what “BY MISTAKE, ERROR HAPPENED” and so here we are. So Let’s not give up. Let’s do what we do and be proud of it. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go.

[Exit]

[lights off]

[lights on]

Scene-II

[Ira enters]

Narration:

"She is so he,” she thought looking at herself in the mirror, trying to find the voice inside her, screaming for the shadow she wanted to see, but could not.

[Ira’s father peeping through the door, quietly]

Ira: why not a moustache here? Why not a beard?

I would have been so handsome god, but why you made me so elegant. I feel ashamed of this female body. I don’t want to be like this. I ...I...

[Father enters inside]

Father: [disgusted] Ira? What is this? Don’t you understand you are a girl? How many times I have to tell you this. I am sick of this behaviour of yours. This is sickening. I am ashamed of you, completely. You have disowned my heart. Get out of my sight. Get lost.

[enters Ira’s sister]

Mira: Finally you accept her indecent behaviour dad. I am done with her maddening attitude. This is not all dad let me tell you she even uses men’s

washroom. I am telling you dad she is suffering from some abnormal disease. She has stained the family name, dad. Tell her to go and join those people whom she belongs to. She is not like us. Not at all.

Father: Mira, put off this black thing from her face and tell her how to dress and behave like a girl. Guests are about to come. Dress her well as a girl, at least until they leave. I don’t want to show my family humiliation in front of them.

Ira: Dad?

Father: Yes, that’s what you are to me, humiliation. Now be 

like a girl.

[Ira’s sister dresses her like a girl, puts on lipstick rudely 

and goes outside.]

[Ira sits in front of the mirror, crying.] 

Ira: [crying and smudging her make up] 

Ira: wanted to be the guy that changed everything The guy that made a difference The guy that gave you a story to tell, but could not. This is how my destiny leaves me to live, like a girl.

[lights off]

Scene-III

[Lights on]

[saif sitting on a chair writing something]

[enter his girlfriend, Maria]

Maria: Saif? I dot think that this can work anymore.

Saif: what you are talking about?

Maria: our relationship.

Saif: [laughs, still writing] Are you on drugs?

Maria: you find it funny? Do you? To be in a relationship with a transgender.

Saif: sorry? What did you just say?

Maria: you heard me right. And why are you so shocked to hear this. You are a transgender. Don’t act like an innocent person who is completely a newcomer for this word. You cannot accept the fact that I called you a transgender and you want me to accept you as a transgender.

Saif: I never forced you for this relationship. You told me that you want to continue this. You knew everything from the very starting. Why are you behaving like this now?

Maria: Yeah, right. I told you to continue this but now I am telling you that I cannot fight this. Let me be honest to you, I thought we can get together because I found you manly enough and thought that, this transgender thing is just a phase and it will go away by the time. But no. I was wrong. I was a fool to think so. I cannot go out with you. I cannot introduce you to my family and friends, I cannot feel protected with you. I feel. I feel so disgusted now, to be with you, to be around you. I have started hating myself because of you. I cannot live like this. Please leave me. I cannot be like you, a person who is hanging in between a 

gender crisis. I am a normal person. I am not like you, a half-person, with a shallow identity. 

Saif:[shattered] I am a person with shallow identity? You feel disgusted being around me? After so long, almost after 2 years of relationship, you think that that I am hanging between gender crisis. Tell me? 

Maria: I cannot go through this emotional stuff of yours anymore, please. Do not torture me with this. Just leave me, please. I cannot bear you anymore. You cannot understand me. Ohh, sorry. How would you? Even you are a girl in a disguise of a guy. Don’t you feel ashamed at your own self? Why don’t you go for the transition? Why are you faking your identity? Just to put a cover on your parents’ faces. They will come to know soon from you. Even they will disown you. You do not deserve love. You do not deserve this relationship. Why don’t you go and find a guy partner for you? I have heard that you people are attracted to guys. Why are you destroying my life? Or wait, maybe you are just cheating on with your guy friend, maybe you are double dating. Ohh god I am so dumb.

You have been cheating me. I feel embarrassed. I feel disturbed because of you. I don’t want to be a depression patient. I am going. Do not dare to call or contact me or I’ll complain against you. I hope you are decent enough to not do this. At least not after all these.

[Maria exits]

Saif: Today, I don’t feel sorry for myself, I used to, at times but not today. This world of normal people taught me that how shallow their lives are. [Laughs sarcastically] It’s sad that some women are born in their body, and others have to fight for it. It’s even sadder that people often changed lots of other personal things all the time; from their hair to their body, their names, their jobs, husbands, wives, religion, even changed their nationalities. Why was gender the one sacred thing we weren’t supposed to change? 

Who made the rule? God or you? I am not ashamed of myself, I am human, and being transgender doesn’t make me less human. Every time someone tells me” but you look as good as a male” I die a little inside. But I don’t want to die like a girl. I want to live, maybe not in this world, but in a world, I shall rest in peace. I could not understand, what is more difficult? Accepting your loved ones for who they are or burying them because you couldn’t. I always thought love is love, but no. Love is a conditioned statement based on who are and what your body looks like is it that difficult to love a transgender? Is it so difficult to survive as a transgender? I don’t get how some mothers can say “ I don’t care the gender as long as the baby is healthy I will love them” and then some years later kick their own son out of the house because he was born a girl because I am born a girl. I won't tell them that I am still the same, I want them to know I still love them, I want her to know that my feelings were real, I want everyone to know that HATE is a choice being TRANS is not. It’s our destiny. 

I want to talk to my parents, I want to talk to Maria so that maybe they understand, maybe, I would love to stand here and talk to you but I’m not going to, I ‘m not going to.