BRIDGING THE GAP

Mala was just eighteen years old when she got married. She wasn't in love with someone neither she had any boyfriend with whom she was to elope. She wasn't waiting to be eighteen years old, legally permissible to live a life of her own. She had grown up as a very beautiful young girl. Among many of the offers for her marriage, her parents found a suitable match and got her married of course with the consent of both the girl and the boy. Mala's husband Bimal was a handsome boy managing roaring family business. Apparently everything seemed tailor-made perfect and so it turned out to be in reality. Bimal's mother was a social activist. She was more busy in doing social work than taking care of her four children. His father a businessman, was also too busy to pay much attention to household affairs. The children just seemed to grow up on their own with normal schooling and upbringing. All except the youngest Bimal left parental home to live life of their own separately. The parents accepted their decision without any emotional outburst. There were so many loopholes resulting in lack of communication or any deep emotional attachment among the family members.

The youngest of the four siblings Bimal became worldly wise at very early age. So when he got married and became a father himrself, he didn't want to be like his parents though he continued to live with them in the same house. He had different plans for raising his family. He was happy and satisfied the way Mala had started handling his family affairs. Mala was quite happy and satisfied in her role as housewife with no ambition for creating any individuality for herself in outer world. She firmly believed that the family is the basic unit of society and a mentally and physically sound family is pre-requisite for a healthy society. Bimal's parents were quite nice and affectionate to her but she could feel Bimal's indifference to them. She was sharp enough not to let this indifference reach a point of no return for both the sides. Inadvertently she found herself as a bridge between Bimal and his parents. She considered her family life as full time career whom she was willing to give her best and she did give her best. 

Mala had made enough space for herself in Bimal's life. Both of them had no reason to grudge and both of them were never too busy for each other. Bimal was always available whenever Mala needed any support in family matters. Similarly Mala was always ready to shoulder any of Bimal's official affairs whenever such need came up. In such happy, healthy and ideal environment they were blessed with three adorable children. Besides being a mother, Mala became mentor, tutor for her children. Undoubtedly she was a very caring, loving and strict disciplinarian mother who wanted her children to excel in their respective lives. She made sure that they got up early in the morning, take their full breakfast, put packed tiffin-box in school bags and be ready to catch school bus in time. By the time they returned from school, Mala was again ready to receive them, make them keep their school bags at proper place, change their school uniform, wash their hands and be ready with hot and fresh lunch for them. After lunch they were given their time to relax and enjoy whatever way they wanted till they were required to finish their home work and keep the school bags ready for the next day. The weekends and holidays were kept to attend social callings and family gatherings. Everything was done so systematically and perfectly that sometimes the whole arrangements would seem out of the world.

With the passing time the children grew up as fine human beings with good education, good jobs and married. Inspite of 24×7 time investment in bringing up their children decently, Mala and Bimal were shocked when their son Goldie married his colleague without seeking their permission rather not even informing them. He told them after the marriage and sought their permission to bring his bride home. Bimal's parents put their foot down and forbade Mala and Bimal from permitting Goldie to bring his bride home. Goldie was prepared for such eventuality. He and his wife had already taken an apartment. They had no difficulty in settling down there. Mala was devastated. She couldn't find any faults with her way of bringing up her children. More she dug her thoughts to where she went wrong, more she kept sinking into deep depression. Bimal's professional compulsions, Mala's deep depression and deprivation of brother's loving company started taking toll on their two young daughters who too were shaken with fast changing events in the family. Good sense prevailed upon them. They took control of family affairs giving enough time to Bimal to attend to his work. With constant care of her daughters Mala came out of her depression, accepting the situation risen because of Goldie's marriage. Once again family was apparently normal compromising with Goldie's absence.

Goldie remained in contact with his sisters who were badly feeling his absence in the house. They kept him informed about the situation at home. He was concerned and didn't feel at peace with himself. Both he and his colleague afterward his wife Paro, had been very close and fallen in love. Paro knew that her parents would never allow her to marry Goldie because they had already settled her marriage somewhere else. Goldie was brought up in more liberal atmosphere still he couldn't muster enough courage to confide in his parents about already settled wedding plans for Paro's marriage with someone else. Hence their elopement for their wedding together. Inspite of finding an ideal life-partener Goldie always felt guilty for betraying his parents trust in him. He needed badly an opportunity to go back to them and mend their embittered relation. He wanted to repair the damaged bridge to reach his parents. Bimal's parents were stubborn. They were not permitting Bimal and Mala to let newly weds to come back in family fold.

Goldie's sisters could no longer bear their dear brother's separation, of course with their parents' consent but without their Grandparent's knowledge. They were very happy to meet Paro and were impressed immensely by her affectionate behaviour and response to their initiative. It became a routine for the siblings to gather frequently at Goldie's house and have gala time together. In their heart of hearts Mala and Bimal were also happy that their intelligent son wasn't wrong in choosing his life partner when their daughters told them about Paro's loving nature. They showed their keenness to bring in Goldie and Paro. Living in joint family it was not going to be an easier task to get Bimal's parents permission who were not able to conceal their resentment whenever Goldie's name was mentioned. Amid the bitter situation caused by Bimal's parents' stubbornness, Mala in full control of herself once again found herself as a bridge for smoothness among different levels of family relations. So one fine day Bimal and Mala alongwith their daughters went to Goldie's house and blessed both Goldie and Paro profusely for their happy married life. They let them continue rather encouraged them to live separately in their new apartment without any bitterness. Goldie and Paro were overjoyed. This was no big deal for Goldie as long as he had his parents' blessings with him. Mala and Bimal started visiting them regularly. Much relaxed on family front, Paro and Goldie focused on their career and both were excelling. Then one day Mala confided in her parents-in-law about Bimal and her visit to Goldie's house. Very politely and diplomatically she brushed aside their apprehension of bringing them back to live with them. It was not easy for Bimal's parents to change their stubborn attitude at this old age but she was pursuasive enough to convince them to bestow their blessings on the young couple while living separately from them. Bimal's parents were quite fond of Mala. They could feel the pangs of separation in a mother's pursuasion. They agreed to let the young couple enter the house. The house was again full of warmth and laughter. Every one enjoyed family reunion. As agreed upon Goldie and Paro left for their own home.

Time keeps moving on. Goldie's sisters were married in decent families. Bimal's mother passed away and father though very frail physically, was mentally very alert and agile. Goldie blessed with two sons had retired from his job. He had started helping Bimal in their family business. His grownup sons were also married and settled in different cities because of their job compulsions. Although the whole family was scattered yet even living separately the family members were always available whenever the need arose. Bimal quite active in his seventies, was very happy to have Goldie by his side to assist him in family business at this juncture of his life. His grandchildren were also blessed with children of their own. He was always thankful to God for providing wonderful life to him and shaping it accordingly to his liking not to mention ups and downs which couldn't be handled.

Maya's common sense helped her to go through many ups and downs in her life reasonably well. She just got along with whatever came her way now spanning over five generations. She continued to believe that every human being is a complete world within self. Be good yourself and with positivity you find the world around quite good because every action has a reaction. Nurturing her family on same lines had proved fine as there was hardly any family dissension which couldn't be sorted out by mutual discussion. She remained as naive as ever to give any credit to herself for wonderful family atmosphere. There was no retirement age in her career which she had chosen as an eighteen years old young girl. Even now full of life in her seventies, she was looking forward to be a part of upbringing of her great grandchildren in same way.

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