Agony of 16+

Born in a traditional Indian family where boys cannot talk about sex and girls, I could not imagine being cozy with the opposite sex. As a rule, boys are not expected to ask any questions about girls, sex and human reproduction system, etc. Boys dare not share their feelings nor could they discuss such topics with their elders and well-wishers. They were left to find remedies to their concerns and anxieties by their efforts within their circle. 

Under the circumstances, the most approachable advisors are their friendly seniors. This throws them open for exploitation by ruffians in the society. Suffering from a sense of sex starvation and deprivation the boys often indulge in misadventure. I did not even know that every one of my age felt like this. But for sure knew that discussing this in open was an unpardonable sin. 

However, vulgar boys do it openly, but those from educated families dare not. And then, good literature and guidance on such subjects are not easily available except for some dirty stuff. As is the norm, boys are discouraged to indulge in such discussions as doing so is considered as bad mannerism.

I had always followed the good boy commandments of the society although at times it looked hypocrisy to me. Not old enough to form a firm opinion, I could not imagine that my ignorance and honesty will land me in such serious trouble. 

I was shaken from inside out when Vinod phoned-up to tell me that Aditi’s mom was talking about going to the police. unbelievable! What have I done and why the police? I never imposed my will over her and as yet, nothing has been done.   

No, it cannot be, she is as truthful as she looks and will never deceive me. But it was not so and I realized it much later. Was it not she, who always followed me to the milk booth, the chemist’s shop and everywhere on one pretext or the other? And what a sudden somersault she has taken landing me in such a tight spot to face the police.

 Am I going to be treated the way the rapists of Nirbhaya Kand fame (shame) were treated? I shivered as a chill went down my spine. Is it the end of my life? How will my friends and my parents react? Is it under such situations that boys attempt suicide?

And she knew that nothing of the sort happened. I did not fully understand sexual relations and at times used to feel so ashamed of being so ignorant about such matters. In her company, I often felt as if I am a big fool. However, at times I tried to act manly and matured, but for sure, she relished my ignorance. I have no hesitation in admitting that I used to enjoy every moment of her coaxing me into proximity with her.

 

I had never expressed my feelings for her nor ever told about my yearning for her, although I used to get very restless on seeing her in revealing dresses.  But only once, a few days earlier, I had, demonstrating my boldness, confessed that her transparent dress and her closeness flare me up.

 I also told her that whenever I saw any scantily clad female, I visualized her in the same attire. I distinctly remember that she kept smiling as if enjoying every bit of my words and pushed me lovingly. I realized very late that she enjoyed my getting restless over her bold dresses. 

She used to discuss stories of Hindi movies and considering me as naive used to be very descriptive in explaining matters relating to intimacies. Her mobile was full of videos revealing feminine details and when I looked wide-eyed, she blushed and used to strike me with her elbows. 

It was enough to put my imagination on fire but I always stood guard and hid my excitement never forgetting the good boy dictates. I have heard elders saying that girls mature much faster than the boys and now I understand it is just true. 

 

  

After all, it was she, who sent an SMS proposing to visit me at my home exactly at 3 PM, knowing well that my parents were out of town and the maid comes at 4 PM. She is about 2 years elder to me and trusting her seniority and maturity I gleefully agreed for the rendezvous. I quickly saw her in and excitedly she headed for my room. 

Riding on the thought of having the first heavenly experience in the safe corners of my house, I joyfully pumped my fists. As the maid comes exactly at 4 PM, we had one full hour at our disposal. But just then the ring of the doorbell made me panicky. Directing her to hide I nervously headed for the main door and noticed her trying to hide behind the cupboard and the curtains.

 

At the main door, it was her father with a grim-looking face. I questioned myself, is it that he has seen her enter my house? Can he sense my nervousness? I was too puzzled to be certain. Oh gosh, I noticed that in haste Aditi had forgotten to close the door of my room. 

After comfortably seating himself on the sofa near my room and exactly facing the cupboard behind which Aidti was hiding, he enquired about the date of my parent's return journey. He casually enquired about my preparations for the forthcoming Board Examinations. Warning me this to be the most crucial year of my life and my career, he advised me to fully concentrate only on my studies.

 Every moment of his stay was counting heavily on me. Finally, he got up, patted me on the back and wishing good luck turned towards the door. I observed him as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."… zero, and yes, he finally stepped out of the door leaving me ecstatic. 

 

Having got rid of the intruder, finally, I was going to get the opportunity of my lifetime. Thank God that she did not move a limb, nor did the wind blow the curtain off, and luckily her mobile was silent which I feared could ring anytime. I checked my watch, another 15 minutes gone! No matter, now we still have 45 minutes at our disposal.

 

I sprang to my feet and bolted the door without making any sound, dancing back to my room only to find her waiting eagerly. The very idea of having the first go of my life made me feel manly. Gleefully we hugged but I had no clues what to do next? She managed her dress to slip down and down leaving hardly anything for my imagination, and I was feeling at the top of the world. 

I could feel the heat of blood on my face, eyes, ears and of course, everywhere. I was in my full senses but held my fort and could not muster up the courage to expose myself. But what a sight for me, She, in full steam was aggressively guiding me but for which I was not mentally ready. Ooh, I could not withstand the throbbing pressure, dithered and came off. Surprising for me, she probably knew exactly what had happened and loosened her grip. Expressing her annoyance she slapped and pushed me aside furiously. 

Perplexed at this I reasoned sheepishly. “What have I done? It was with your consent”. 

“Idiot, you have not done, that is the real problem” was her angry reply. “You disgusting useless fellow I am going and you dare not come to me again”. 

Her hair scattered, hastily wrapping her scarf around her neck she left my room. So shaken and frustrated was I at this sudden turn of events that I banged the door behind her. On second thoughts, I rushed out and caught up with her at the main door to reason with her. After all, she cajoled me into the compromising position and took me so close to her femininity and now she is blaming me. Are all girls like this?  

Horrified to see her mother at the door and just then Aditi turned back and shouted at me for no reason. The mother grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the house. Though terrorized, it took me no time to understand that we are exposed and I am going to be in deep trouble.

Finally, I have landed here, on the squeaky bench in front of the Interrogation Officer of police station wondering what will happen when my parents return the next day.  Now I could see that Aditi has ditched me and to save her honor she has made me the scapegoat. I remember having read and being told that girls are as much interested in such ventures just as boys are. But in case the relation is exposed, to save their so-called honor, they make noise and pose as victims. 

Another policeman staring at me entered and asked his colleague, the IO “What the boy has done, looks to be from a good family”

Hindi version “ kya Kar dia launder ne, achhe Ghar ka lagta hai”.

My IO replied “Nobody was at home, the idiot called the girl to his room and pounced, do not know whether he could do something. Girl’s mother had telephoned, we are awaiting written complaint before taking action”.

Hindi “Ghar pe koi nahin tha to ladki ko bula key daboch liya saley ney. Pata nahin kuch kar paya ya nahin. Ladki ki maa ney telephone kiya tha, likhat mein shikayat ka intzaar hai, phir action lengey”. 

He commented, “Nobody can save him now, he is gone”. 

Hindi version “Isey ab koi na bacha sakega, yeh to gaya kam say”.

 I started shivering and sweating and felt darkness before my eyes as if everything in my life was over. Just then, I noticed somebody in the shady corridor walking up to the room. Oh, it was Aditi’s father! I felt numb, my hands are frozen. Anticipating abuse and insults, but lacking guts to deal with the situation, I started praying, closed my eyes and resting my forehead on the palms of both hands tried to muster up the courage.  I could hear his approaching footsteps, his hello to the IO, and then felt a soft touch on my head.

Opening my moist eyes and looking up, I saw Aditi’s father with a smiling face. Putting his one hand around my shoulder, grabbing my arm with the other hand and trying to raise me said: “Get up and come with me”. I hesitated for a second but realizing his friendly attitude, I got up and walked along with him to the SHO’s room. The IO briskly following us. 

“Be comfortable, you will not be harmed, I am here to help you out of the situation?” her father said reassuring me while walking.

The SHO said “Beta you are lucky, the complaint against you has been withdrawn. You should be grateful to her father who understands the situation very well” He looked at me sympathetically and talked about similar complaints, which, later on, were found to be blown out of proportions. He further commented “Nowadays we are always under undue pressure to register such cases first and investigate later, even if there is no credible evidence. Now you are free, you can go, but be very careful in the future.”

Hand –in hand with her father, I walked out of the Police station, wondering if it was a nightmare or a reality.

What a change of fortunes? I was out of hell and am again a normal boy. I was inquisitive to know how did this happen with all the odds against me? My savior was the person whom I feared will drive the hell out of me. We walked out and I sat in his car on the front seat beside him.

 He started the engine and the AC and addressed me with a broad smile on his face. “You have not been done any favors my boy. It took me no time to judge that you are innocent and a victim of circumstances and I decided to help you out of the ordeal. I am sorry that you had this traumatic experience for which you could hardly be blamed.”

“But why then did Aditi target me in the police report?”, I asked. 

 “You should know that reporting to the police was not my action, it was the mother/daughter decision without my consent. Now both of them have realized their folly and are feeling apologetic”, he replied. 

 To my question “Does it mean that you have little confidence in your daughter, don't you trust her much?

“To tell you frankly, I trust you more than I trust Aditi. I know that adolescents from good families will think 100 times before indulging in such activities. With your family background, I could sense no danger and trusted you. I am convinced that boys like you will not do anything forcefully and you have proved me right. The blame is more on Aditi than on you.”

He continued “Maybe I misread the situation and was overconfident about her. I could not anticipate that things will go thus far, after all, you were not meeting for the first time. Now I feel that I should have intervened then and there.”

 “Then and there? Does it mean that you knew about Aditi’s presence in my room?”. I asked shyly.

He replied grinning “When I entered, I did not. But later on, I smelled her, the liberal spray of her favorite perfume revealed her presence. The perfume said it all.”

“But uncle, knowing well that we were meeting stealthily and she was at my home and in my room too, why did you not object?” I asked. 

“No my son no, I knew she was with you but at the same time, I never wanted to shame or demean any of you. That is why I feigned ignorance and kept quiet. Elders cannot and should not police the activities of their children but should educate them to control their sentiments and behave in a balanced manner. Still, children cannot always be expected to act ideally, here I went wrong. I should know that everybody is fallible.”

“But how does her mother come to know about her presence at my home” I inquired sheepishly.

“You know mothers keep watchful eyes on their daughters. She noticed the way Aditi was dressing-up and got suspicious. On her asking me about Aditi’s whereabouts, I had to tell the truth. Rest was her imagination and fear that made her run to your house.”

He concluded,” And finally, all of us, especially you and Aditi, should take a lesson from today’s event.”

I could not believe what he was telling me. Am I dreaming? Is it true? Gleaming with happiness I grabbed his hand, tears of joy rolled down my eyes. I was feeling like a free bird coming out of the cage after a long time. I wanted to fly, I wanted to cry. Finally, I am free from the death sentence I awarded to myself and felt like having a new lease of life. 

But I have lots of unanswered questions for which I will always be looking for convincing answers. How elders Know do elders know children? I do not know what is in law books, what police procedures are and what is immoral? Whether such relations are immoral or it becomes immoral only when such relations are exposed? I do not know.  

Whatever it may be, I am back to my normal life and that is more than enough for me. Getting down from the car, everything around looked so beautiful and charming, and even walking back to my home looked so pleasant. How thrilling is it to be a normal person, I realized it that day.