A Prayer Of A Daughter

Dear God,

You know I created a blunder again. I argued with my mother. She does not stop praising other people in front of me. “Hasib did a great job in the university entrance exam. His mother must be proud of him.” or “Shila is such a nice girl. She is a blessing to her mother. Her mother must be very happy to have her...” Why does she have to praise others like that when I am the only one who cares about her? I also want her to be proud and happy for me. But when she prioritizes others over me, it makes me feel helpless. I hate it!!!

Throughout my whole life, I used to hate her. No! I should say I pretend to hate her. I used to avoid her phone calls, liked to criticize her among my friends, made her a scapegoat for my own mess. “She cannot do anything without her mother. She still remains a baby”, I was afraid to be criticized by people. I thought if I ignored her, I could be happy. I thought if she went away, I could do better. But unfortunately, it just made me more miserable. I am grateful to you for making me realize how wrong I was. Last year, when I stayed at my uncle’s house, I was really homesick. Yes, home. She is my “home”. In my uncle’s house, I was treated quite well. But still, it felt like something was missing. My heart was cold and desolate. It was only a mother’s love that can keep my heart warm. 

I think I am a fool. I always claim that I will make her happy but I actually did nothing for her. I have never asked for her opinion. I am always busy judging how she hurts my feelings but I am unwilling to consider how she feels when I hurt her. I am so selfish! I am asking you. Please make me less selfish and more tolerant.

I can rely on my mother. I feel secure in her arms. But what about herself? Does she feel “home” with me? I do not know. Maybe she also misses my grandmother. Being a daughter, there is only one thing I wish for my mother. When she will become old and no one will be there to support her, I wish to make a “home” where she can stay safe and sound. Please, grant my wish.

-By a foolish daughter.