A Day Of Two Revelations

July 19^th, 2019

I entered the lounge and saw a couple sitting with their hands entwined and the woman was leaning on the man’s shoulder. The light was low so I couldn’t see their faces. Then I don’t what happened and the woman turned around, and I saw it was my wife. The disbelief of seeing my always proper, always dutiful wife with another man shocked me into silence instead of shocking me into talking. You know how we never think that I could die today, in spite of seeing people die every day. In just the same way like death, I had it coming yet I never thought it would happen today. I pretended as if I have not seen her and prayed that she did not see me either.

***

May 16^th, 2010 Noon

Vihaan was returning today from his 8 days long business trip. Long. Yes, it felt long to Deeksha. It was usual for Vihaan to go on such business trips. Yet this time Deeksha was getting impatient because she had a news which will change their lives. Forever. After being married for 10 years and trying for a baby for 4 years, Deeksha had finally conceived. Not only a baby. But hope for her, their married life and her entire life which revolved around their marriage.

Deeksha came out of her daydreaming when her maid repeated for the third time that Vihaan is calling on her phone. She received the phone.

“Hello”, greeted Deeksha.

“Deeksha, my flight has landed, I will be home in an hour”, informed Vihaan.

“Okay, I can’t wait for you not only because I missed you so much but because I have something exciting to tell you.”

“Really, be there soon.”

Deeksha hung up and headed to the kitchen to check if Vihaan’s favourite dishes are ready or not. She would have cooked herself, if not for morning sickness. One corner of her mind, which Deeksha always hushed, told her why all of Vihaan’s favourite dishes, it’s your big day as well. Like always Deeksha shut that voice.

***

May 16^th, 2010 Evening

Vihaan came home loaded with packages that had gifts for Deeksha, Deeksha’s mother and even her extended family. It was a first. They had the kind of relationship in which Deeksha always had to ask for things she wanted and Vihaan always bought it for her. Happily. And now seeing Vihaan coming home with so many gifts, Deeksha thought, had he sensed it. No, that can’t be.

“I’ll freshen up and then we’ll hear your big news”, told Vihaan over his shoulders.

“Sure”

As Vihaan entered into the bathroom his cell phone beeped.

Deeksha was leaving the room but the cell phone caught her attention.

“Hope you reached safely. Thank you again for an amazing night.” The message read.

Deeksha’s body reacted before she could. Her ears were burning, knees were weak but no tears in eyes. Her brain giving her constant signals to sit down or she will fall. Finally, she did sit down. The number from which the message came was saved as “Gurgaon office” so, it could have been a colleague, a friend, a business partner. But Sakshi knew. It was none of those. Because when husbands cheat, wives always sense it.

Deeksha went into another room which she wanted to turn into baby’s nursery, put her face into the pillow and screamed, screamed again and then finally cried. She cried little over her husband’s infidelity, little over finding it out on this day, but mainly over her naivety that her love could change the man she loved. Several minutes passed by and she could not make anything of this situation. Then she heard Vihaan calling her name. She got up from the bed, tried to compose herself. Nisha had put all the gifts in this room along with the lily flowers which Vihaan had brought for her. She looked at those and they felt like souvenirs of her husband’s betrayal. She went into the bathroom and splashed her face with water as cold water could do what husband guilt-trip gifts can’t.

She sat on the dining table where Nisha had prepared the meal and set the table as per Deeksha’s precise instructions.

“Let’s eat. Too hungry”, Vihaan remarked keeping the hand at his stomach.

Deeksha served him the roasted prawns with mushroom sauce.

“Is my wife the best cook or not”, exclaimed Vihaan as soon as he put the first bite of the prawn in his mouth.

Deeksha looked at him for several seconds and then smiled, “Thank you”.

“Tell me about your good news”

Deeksha’s gaze lowered to her womb.

“But why are you not eating?” complained Vihaan.

Deeksha served herself a small portion of the prawns.

“Vihaan you remember, I had applied for several freelancing projects.”

“Hmm”

“I have got one.”

“Really, great. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” With a sigh she continued. “I will have to go to Paris as there is an old museum that needs to be redecorated.”

“Oh. That’s okay. When do you have to go?”

“Two weeks.”

“No problem. I am so happy for you. And so proud.”

“Vihaan, actually it’s a yearlong project. I will have to move to Paris for a year.”

The spoon in Vihaan’s hands dropped. He sat there for what seemed like several minutes. Then he regained his composure and said, “Don’t you think it’s a long time.” It was rhetoric question which Deeksha must answer in affirmative and at any other point of time, she would have. But not today. The day she found out that the father of her expecting baby is cheating on its mother.

“I want to be something more than just your wife” replied Deeksha a little too loud. And this time Vihaan really sensed it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It had taken me so much time and effort to get this opportunity to just let it go like this.”

“I know. But I am just saying that’s just too much of you without me.” Vihaan again tried to be his charming self.

“I guess we will have to make a way out for this” replied Deeksha with a little authoritative tone. It did not go well with the man of the house.

“I see. But I am sure you can try to cut short it down”

“That’s not possible”

“How do you know? Talk to your contractor first.”

“I have already agreed to him for a year contract.”

Vihaan pushed aside the plate in front of him.

“Without consulting with me”

Deeksha kept looking down.

“So, you have made your mind”

“I don’t see what is wrong with that” she did not back down as she was not fighting for herself but for her child.

“You don’t see what is wrong with that” repeated Vihaan “really? You will be in a foreign country without me, without any of the family, leaving behind our home, our marriage, everything. And you don’t see what’s wrong in it. Great.”

“And did you?” asked Deeksha with all the power she could muster in herself.

The question confused Vihaan. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I am going. I have a lot do.” Saying this, Deeksha got up to leave.

“You know what more you could have been other than my wife”

Deeksha stopped with her back facing Vihaan. But she did not turn as she knew what was about to come was worse.

“Mother of my child”, finished Vihaan.

And that was how this day ended which Deeksha thought, just this morning, will be the most beautiful day of their lives.

***

July 19th, 2019

Life cripples. Sometimes gradually. Sometimes all at once. For Deeksha, it was a bit of both. A day changed her life and then it remained the same. Full of lies, quarrels, guilty gifts, ritualistic love making and betrayal. Loving Vihaan cost her too much like love always does. Her career, ambitions, fantasy of a happy married life and three abortions. The day they both prayed for. God granted it to her. Three times. But sometimes even His timing is not right. It was difficult the first time. But not after that. After nine years of going through the same cycle, she was finally exhausted and decided to confront Vihaan. But what occurred to her after this thought, was even more devastating. Would he even care, that I knew? Let’s find out.

***

I will never talk to Deeksha about this as if it never happened. As if I never went there. Anyway what difference does it make. Vihaan’s phone rang. It was Deeksha.

“Honey” replied Vihaan.

“Vihaan, where are you?”

“In the office. Will be home soon. Wait for me.”

After a brief pause Deeksha replied, “I have waited for you too long”.

***

“Vihaan definitely saw me”, told more to herself than to the actor she hired to be her boyfriend and immediately left the lounge.

Deeksha felt butterflies in her stomach as if she was again that teenager girl who fell in love with Vihaan.

“This will be it. He will get so angry. He will shout at me. Ask me questions. He may even get so agree that he will hit me. And then I will forgive him”. With this thought, Deeksha dialed Vihaan’s number and started driving her car to reach home as soon as possible.

Vihaan picked up the call and without waiting for Deeksha to speak, he said, “In the office. Will be home soon. Wait for me.” That teenager girl aged. The butterflies died. All her plans came crashing down.

“I have waited for you too long” said Deeksha and pushed her speeding car in the next pillar she saw.

Public gathered and gasped at the amount of blood which was spilled on the road. It was as if the teenager Deeksha and grown-up Deeksha, both were bleeding profusely.