45th DAY

“You were supposed to come by 9.30” Shivangi asked Nachiket.

Nachiket  & Shivangi Dutt were married for 3 years. Shivangi was 36 and Nachiket was 38 when they got married. It was arranged marriage. Shivangi was not ready to marry as she wanted to be something in her life. Having struggles for 6,7 years she had become HR of call performance ltd. Although both Nachiket and Shivangi were Bengali but they born n brought up in Udaipur. Since last 10 years Nachiket was trying to get married but his luck was not in his favour until Shivangi came into his life.

“I’m sorry I dint know I would be this much late, actually there was last moment meeting” Nachiket told his wife entering into his home. Nachiket was senior manager at gwaxo co.

“This is your 3rd sudden meeting of the week Nachiket” Her voice was sharp and clear.

“I’m sorry I said” He was actually sorry.

“Nevertheless, have you had your dinner or I need to serve? “she asked in harder tone.
“ I have had don’t worry, you sleep “

“Good night”

“Good night” Nachiket told her. Their home was really cozy it was 1 bedroom apartment. After Shivangi came to Nachiket’s home, she properly managed everything decorated her home with warmth. But unfortunately, that warmth dint last long. Within 6 months Shivangi felt her familiar hollowness again. Nachiket was an ambivert person. So, there was no blame for him. Shivangi was bit reserved Nachiket shared everything with Shivangi. Both had past in their life but that was not a problem. And it was true that both were not happy as they should be. Shivangi came into her bedroom which was dim lit with night lamp. Marble flooring was shining in shallow yellow light. TV was still on because before Nachiket rang the bell Shivangi was watching tv. She turned off the tv and pulled the blanket over. But sleep was not there. She felt awkward, uncomfortable and extremely bored. She was not demanding but she felt left behind everything. In her family it was only her father. Since childhood she had habit of keeping secrets though she never had any such dirty or bad secret. Secrets she buried down was only her loneliness. Nothing wrong with her childhood or adulthood , everything was fine but her married life was not ok.shivangi was thinking of her life before her marriage but it felt same no more no less. Half an hour passed still Nachiket had not come to sleep . Shivangi got up and went in hall. Nachiket was watching news.

“You don’t want to sleep?” she asked.
“ I will sleep in some time, you go”

“You need anything?”

“No Shivu, don’t worry” Nachket was so calm and relaxed. Shivangi wanted to talk to him but she didnot ask for. She again went in bedroom to sleep .it was 2 am in the night still Shivangi was up and Nachiket was watching tv. Shivangi was thinking about her morning routine, her office routine. She had to wake up by 6 and she was still up. She felt sudden surge of  not going anywhere.

In the hall, Now Nachiket felt bored of watching tv . He stood up, went in the balcony and lit the cigarette. Their 5th floor view was not that much great to watch. He took his phone out of pajama pocket, watched the screen ,It was 2.30 am in the night so He couldn’t talk or call anybody. His last dial number was dr. Sukruti, she was their family dr. Since last 5 days Nachiket was calling her to prescribe him medicines for sleep but she denied giving any medicines. Shivangi also tried but all efforts went in vain. Seeing phone screen ,Nachiket frowned and put the phone inside. He stubbed out the cigarette. And went in the bedroom. Shivangi was still up surfing the phone screen.

“When will you sleep?” Nachiket asked.

“In a little time” she replied.
“ At what time you returned from office?” Nachiket asked.

“Around 7, why?”

“Did you meet Vachan ?” Nachiket asked.

“no, not today, actually I was supposed to meet him today”

“Then?”

“What then?, I was so busy with my work so I could not go” Vachan was Shivangi’s friend and therapist. Vachan knew Shivangi from last 7 years. They were close as friends and Nachiket had have little problem with that but He dint have any choice other than accepting it. So Now Nachiket had accepted it fully.

“But then you are still up?”

“So are you”

“I don’t have any close friend like you have”

“then develop one to get out of the situation” Shivangi said.

“I don’t need anybody”

“Not even me?”

“Not even myself”

“what’s wrong with you Nachiket , I’m in the same situation as you are in”

“what situation?”Nachiket asked

“Everything was so perfect, balanced .But one day everything changed”

“Is it because of me?”

“ No, its my fault, every wrong thing happens because of me”

“I’m not blaming you”

“But then who to blame?” Nachiket asked Shivangi.

“No one, let it be, let ‘s not talk about it, let’s talk about the tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, I have the day off”

“Why?”

“I won’t go tomorrow, you call, Vachan at our place, we will discuss everything.”
“ we have already discussed everything so many times. No out put has been come out till the date”

“it only has been 3 months”

“Because of this my work is being compromised.” Shivangi told Nachiket.

“So does mine” Nachiket said. And the conversation went on till 5 am in the morning. They both Slept by 5 in the same bedroom , same bed with holding each other’s hand.

Before 6 months Nachiket had strong pain in stomach. It was so extreme that He fainted and admitted to the hospital gave Nachiket’s one liver fail report. Ever since then Shivangi and Nachiket became so aware and concerned about health. Nachiket and Shivangi both were regular drinker. Both had same corporate office culture. They were struggling for liver transplant. Some times dr Sukruti would prescribe her sleep tablet. Vachan and Shivangi met in one of the parties since then they bonded closely. Afterwords Shivangi got to know that Vachan was practicing psychiatrist. She consulted him for herself and Nachiket. Since Vachan was friend he would come to their home for therapy to stop drinking. That night was 45th day when both of them dint drink. It was hard for them to live like this. Their life encircled by boredom, they would feel emptiness, worthlessness and what not. They soon realized their power marriage was just an illusion of drinking. They got to know how badly they were trapped by alcohol still they were fighting to quit alcohol strongly. They had hope of one fine day.