The Pinpricks Of My Life

As I sit all alone,

I get thinking once again,

About the irreversible past,

Which forever lasts & lingers ........

Frozen images, vivid & preserved memories ........

Alas, I say to myself for thousandth time,

Maybe I should have,

done this & that then ........

Maybe I shouldn't have,

been like that then ........

Maybe I should have,

responded to "wake up" calls ........

Still I ponder torturously,

All about what I have been through

Still I wonder unbelievably,

Well what happened to me then & why ???

And then I come to a point when,

I see myself living it once again ........

With all the choked emotions,

Of events rushing back ........

The wretched ward room,

The eerie 20' × 10' cubicle,

Where "we" spent those few helpless moments together !

Suddenly I find myself devoid of all feelings,

Devoid of all emotions & pinpricks,

Surprised at my own innocence & ignorance,

Surprised at my seemingly swift recovery !!

I gradually float back to reality,

Ready to face yet again the present world,

So full of drama, plots, and cruelty !!!