My Pain Will Engulf Me..

There you are again

You hot mess

I have felt your form

With my hands

Tried to stay only

At your edges

For as long as I can

So many times

I've just walked around

To see if I can find a way

Done whatever I can

To just stay away

And then go

Visit the neighbours

Laugh a little

Sing a song

Anything that

Would work

Somedays I put

Clothes on you

Dressed you up

In flowers

Smiled at your

Prettiness

Maybe the hot mess

Will transform this way

The silly me thought

And for sometime

You hid in the corners

But soon you were back

And this time

None of my ideas worked

I couldn't go

To the neighbours

Couldn't find clothes

Or flowers

To cover you up

And then

...ever so slowly

I held my heart

And looked you

Straight in the eye

So sure I'd be soon

Consumed by your flames

But...

Just when I stopped being

Afraid to hold you close

You softened and passed

Through me like a wave

Leaving me lighter

More intact than I ever was

All this while trying to stay away