Letter I Will Never Send

Dear…

Hmmm, what to call you, You’re my everything, my friend, my lover, my shield, my reason to live. So, in short words, you are my breaths, which are important for surviving.

I don't know how to tell you about your importance for me, or how to tell you that I know you more than you know yourself.

I still remember the first day when we met 6 years ago. It was my first day at high school, I was pretty nervous, and because of nervousness I couldn't find my class and I was standing still in a corner; I was about to cry when you introduced yourself and asked me the reason for standing still. And when I told you that I couldn't find my way, you smiled and said, ” Oh, you silly girl, you are about to cry for that tiny reason, tell me your class? I will take you there but first, promise me that you will not get worried about small issues”  and you grabbed my hand and took me to my department.

That was the first day of the beginning of our friendship. And from then you were always by my side no matter what; from high school to university, and now look, you have graduated and I am about to graduate. And you still see me as an immature person.

But do you know something happened before 2 years? That changed me completely? How would you know I never told you,

That my feelings changed for you, I started seeing you more than a friend, I began to cover myself with your colors, I left everything which you didn't like and started loving everything you loved. 

You will find me crazy, but I began to put things in the small key boxes, like cinema tickets, ice-cream wrappers, the crystal bangles you gave me, the 1000rs note with your signature on, that you gave me on Eid, and your empty pens. 

Ahh, do we call this a love? I guess so because whenever I raise my hands to pray, I pray for you before myself, and I asked for you in my every prayer.

I wish I could tell you how much I love you, and I don't know how I would ask you? That please now I can't bear eye to eye contact with you, but I think I can not. Because I am scared of your reaction, I am scared that I broke the friendship code and committed a sin of falling in love.

So, I wrote this letter to tell you about my feelings, which I still don't know when I will give it to you,I guess never… 

Yours sincerely,

An immature friend, who unknowingly committed a sin of falling in love.

( I fold the letter and put it with the other stuff in my treasure box to never give it to you).

 I don't know what I wrote and why I wrote this cake