Jealous Forever

It is a terrible emotion

It is called jealousy, 

Synonymous with insecurity.

I am not good enough

I am dull and ugly, 

I am not an academician

I am no magician.

Every time I want something.

Every time I need something.

Every time I love something.

I met him 

I met her

I have this

I have had 

I love this

I expect that.

I have been jealous 

I have been jealous of forever.

I fear 

I am near

I will lose

I will choose

I will be forgotten

I will be outlived.

Is that jealousy 

or drained self-confidence?