I'm Not Myself

I don't know who I am anymore 

I wish I knew

This is just an eyesore

Feels like my days are few

Pains have taken hold of me

I no longer feel alive

I don't know what this means 

How do I feel bout life 

I'm fighting a war I never win

The demons in my head 

Perhaps it was my sin(s) 

I feel like a dead 

Why does life treat me this way

Do I deserve this thing

I hope and pray every day

But it all amounts to nothing

Am angry am lost

I feel so alone

I turned back like a lot

I don't want to go home

I feel very sad 

I feel am the worst 

It a trying but it's hard

My feelings are lust

Thought I needed my phone

Like it did really matter

But still out of my zone

What's the essence then after 

Does God hate me I ask? 

Does he feel so bad? 

Is there no coming back? 

Why will nothing add?