Good bye

Who says you don’t get happiness in one moment? I got it today in this metro, in the moving train, in so much crowd. I am standing on this side of the crowd and he is also standing on that side. Same hairstyle, same clothes and still holding flowers in his hands, but his face feels sad. I felt bad for him seeing him, but I saw him and I don’t know, I felt very good, it felt like I was seeing someone after years. And suddenly the crowd shifted in between him, he saw me and you know his face suddenly changed, like when an eclipse is removed from the moon and the moon becomes so bright — that’s how his face lit up seeing me. So much happiness, such a big smile. In the happiness of that smile, he got lost, he raised his hand and said hi to me. And in that moment, his attention went to his hands, and I saw he was wearing an engagement ring on his finger, from which I realized that he is married. And seeing that, he laughed, and he is looking at me and I am also laughing seeing him. And finally we did ask each other our names — he told his name from far away by writing it in his notepad, I also showed my name by writing it in my notepad. After that, at the next stop he got down, I was at the same stop. Even after getting out, he was standing at the door to say bye to me, I also said bye to him and the train moved on.




People say that with time everything changes, actually this is a lie because this is the kind of lie that we all sit believing as truth in our lives. With time nothing changes, we just accept the situation, the circumstances, the problems with time, or we find some solution to deal with them, or we shape ourselves in a way that we can endure it. This is what happens and this happens in everyone’s life, I have seen this in everyone’s life, even in my own life this is what’s happening. But in everyone’s life there should be one moment in which we get happiness. Now for me that was love, what it was I don’t know but it was something that could give me so much happiness in one moment that I didn’t get my entire life. So do you want to know where I got happiness from? When I used to go to college, I found it — I found it in the metro, in these crowds, during this crowd I found him. I was very sad but at that time he was very happy, with those same flowers in his hand, same style, same clothes, he would stay standing so happily on that side of the crowd and I wouldn’t even look at him, I would only look at his flowers and I only look at his flowers, not at him. He would try very hard that once my eyes would shift from the flowers to him but he was unsuccessful every time, and he would tell me this too. After all I am a girl, every girl knows what the other person is trying to do, but what can we do, we enjoy spoiling their planning. So I did the same, I didn’t pay attention to him, I only paid attention to his flowers and I never asked his name nor talked to him. One day I was looking here and there in the metro, I was sitting inside the train, I was looking here and there but I didn’t see him. Suddenly someone next to me said, “Are you looking for me?” As soon as I turned, he was sitting there with the flowers.




A strange kind of happiness was on his face, okay finally the girl did see my face and I also saw his face, oof I can never forget that moment. We talked in the metro, we talked till the station, we talked about strange topics. I asked, “Whose beautiful girl do you take flowers for?” He said, “There is a beautiful girl who is the most beautiful in this world, for whom I take them.” And he asked me, “Are you jealous? If you are jealous then it’s okay, from tomorrow I’ll bring extra for you too.”




I kept looking at him and he said, “Okay, from tomorrow one more beautiful girl has been added to my list for whom I’ll have to bring flowers, let’s I’ll bring for you too.” I laughed, he also laughed and at that very moment my station came, I got down. I, ah I don’t know what happened to me at that time, I got down without saying anything to him. I felt that the moment was not right because in my home I was not taught to love, because of this I felt that the moment was not right, I should get down. I got down without saying anything and he also didn’t say anything, he saw me that I got down and he was still looking at me through the window but I didn’t turn, I just walked straight ahead. Yes, this was what was left — us knowing each other’s name, and finally we did know each other’s name and finally I also found out that he has moved on in his life, he got married, it’s okay, at least he is happy and the happiness, and at least I am also happy that the happiness I got seeing him, oh my god I am never going to forget it. Whether this is what they call time — if we don’t take a decision with time, then time never stops for anyone — and thank you for telling me that yes that moment was still left for us, that time gave me back that time, at least I could know his name. So I want to say thank you to time for giving me this time, at least to meet him again because that day I left him in that metro, in that half conversation, my station hadn’t even come yet and still I lied and left because I felt that it was wrong. That time gave me back that time to finish that conversation, to say a proper goodbye. Thank you for giving me this time again. Now I feel a little satisfied in my life and a little happiness seeing him again, thank you.
Yes, I had gotten off. I lied. I felt bad too, but at that time I didn’t feel that bad because I was born into this environment, I grew up in this environment, I was taught that love is nothing. Actually at that time I didn’t feel anything was wrong. But they say that with time, things we did in the past — some behavior or reaction from our past that suddenly comes back to us and we realize we shouldn’t have done that — what we commonly call realizing, regret, I was feeling all of that. Today all those regrets are gone because I talked to him, said goodbye, said bye, it felt good, my mind got peace, and I learned that love is not that bad.



I learned to love, and I was also knows that he didn’t bring those flowers for anyone else, he bought them for himself because every day he passed by a flower shop, that shop run by my mother and he took flower daily. he kept those flowers so beautiful that he would take one for himself every day another one gave to my mother, Sometimes it’s not necessary that love should be from someone else, sometimes it can also happen that love is for ourselves, at least that won’t betray us, right? If we love ourselves, that was learned — love yourself, do what you like, because time doesn’t stop for anyone and it doesn’t tell anyone either, so why not use this time for ourselves, to love ourselves?



And along with that, we were also taught that with time, if we don’t move a step forward, it’s not necessary that the other person will stay the same; they will definitely move their step forward, because with time everyone has to move forward, because time never stops, and this is a very good lesson that we should move along with time.