Cherophobia

In the silence of the darkness

Filled with thoughts, I wait for it to happen

Wobbly and unstable in blind awareness

And I think the ship has lost its captain

 

The heart pumps and thumps

Like an earthquake has come

The ship becomes a part of the sea of sorrow

As the biggest waterfall is yet to be followed

 

When the sky is filled with clarity and normality

I can still feel dark clouds hover above

I can still feel the winds versatility

Expecting for an unexpected storm to come

 

I interrogate myself on why I cannot

Cannot navigate me through such a clear path.

I wonder to myself why I can't wear a smile

That has not been marketed and bought by myself

 

I ask myself yet much more

Like, what is happiness?

Is it a state of mind?

Or an illusion of life?

 

But then again

I'm not living in my head

I'm not making it up to dread

For it is the reality

In conflict with my mentality

This is what we must accept in this world

Where only pain is felt