Ambiguous Bond

I feel like a dried rose in a half-read book

Slumber late at night; ruminating unaccustomed thoughts

Wake up with a lurch heart much prior alarm rings

Pain like a laceration from a dagger

Configuration of my mind changes every minute

The pain of my heart and mind is of not losing but of not getting

Losing hopes, Changing vantage points, and total anguish

Something is not well; Something is not just right

You may call it misery or woe, but for me, it's an Ambiguous Bond with myself

I pray to splinter the chain of my thoughts but,

I have to hold on, have forbearance even if it is chock-full of unsteadiness