I stepped into my bedroom and saw he was sleeping coiled like he used to in my womb. The bed sheets were under his legs. I pulled it over and tucked him properly.
It was almost 12:00 a.m. in the night when I could complete the last routine of the day and finally hit the bed.
There was a small cry and a tug from behind. I switched on the bedroom lights thinking it was time for the next day regular routine, but the time machine displayed 3:30 a.m. I looked at him. His eyes were tight shut, but he was mumbling in sleep, "Amma, pee-pee. I want to do pee-pee"
I had stopped making him wear his diapers at night. It was a habitual routine that I ensured he did pee before he went to bed. He was used to the routine, that reduced the night calls.
He slowly got up, with his eyes still shut and caught my fingers to lead him to the washroom. After pee-pee, before he hit the bed back, he mumbled- "Amma Soji and Thank You"
I was surprised, with the apology and gratitude coming at the same time. While I was tucking him back to bed, I gave him a loving hug and asked, "Lil one, why Soji and Thank you"
"Amma, Soji I disturbed and woke you up. Thank you for taking me to the washroom."
That explanation from a 4 year old in the middle of the night shook me up completely. He was barely able to pronounce "Sorry" which came out of his mouth as "So-ji".
I did not know whom to marvel at - "Was it because of the habits that I had instilled in him?" Or "Was it because he was a Piscean and born that way?" Or "Was it because it was in his blood to be gentle and kind to others?"
His polite behavior middle of the night in the semi-conscious state made me realize one thing for sure, "Habits instilled during formation years of our lives, stays with us for life"
It is neither who we are or where we come from.
It is neither what our stars say or what our genes gave us.
It is neither how we were formed.
It is how we form ourselves.
I lost my precious sleep, but "Amma Soji" from my precious one continues to be an enticing compensation - 'A value taught in sleep'