The Hint Of An Ending

The corridor seemed to stretch forever. An infinite pattern of interconnected tiles all illuminated by a light he could not see. He could not see the end nor the beginning. All he could see was the long road ahead of him. A path he did not want to take.

His hands were clammy with sweat as he tried to figure a way out of the situation. The more he thought, the more ragged his breathing became. There was no escape. He couldn’t go back and yet the end was so far away it was beyond his reach.

He could feel it. Hear them. Always out of sight but never forgotten. The jeering laughter. The quiet snickers. How had they found him? Here of all places. The jeering intensified. Snickers turned to snarls. He looked frantically for a place to hide, but there were only two places to go.

Forward or Back.

Why must these voices continue to haunt him? Ravage his soul with guilt that he did not deserve? Why couldn’t everything just fade away? Cease to exist. Let his life be a prologue to some greater man’s journey. And yet no matter how much he wished, there he lay. At some point between the beginning and the end.

He would go back. Yes. There was nothing egging him onward. And there was no guarantee of happiness at the end. Why not go back to the beginning? Things were much more simple. Black and white if you will.

Yes. He had made a decision. The voices seemed to fade away, if only for an instant. He got up and started walking back the way he came. He didn’t know when he would reach the beginning, but he knew that he would. After all, that’s where it all began. He had never seen the end though. He didn’t know if it even existed. Why should he chase after such a quixotic notion?

He had been walking for about ten minutes when he saw it. A door. A plain wooden door. No fancy engravings or craftsmanship. Just a door with a brass knob. This was it. The beginning. The same beginning from which he began.

The voices had stopped, making the silence sound ominous. He stood in front of the door, mere inches away from the beginning. And yet, his feet would not move. Why? Wasn’t this what he wanted? To start over? All he had to do was open the door and all his problems would fade away. Yet deep down he knew. There was no guarantee of things turning out different. There are many possibilities. Many beginnings. Many endings. But what if the journey was the same? The same pain. The same suffering. The same hardships. He stood at the door to which he thought had all the answers for him. All he found was another question.

The truth is a difficult thing to face. It’s something we all seek. And yet, it is not the same for all. Our version of the truth is based on our perception of reality. We see what we want to see. We hear what we want to hear. But that is not the way reality works. Reality is based on the truths of the people around you. And isn’t that why people always seek a deeper truth? To understand others better?

The man needed to turn back.

Give me a hint of an ending, and I will move forward.

Show me a truth that I can understand, and I will live.

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“So, how do you feel?”, his therapist asked him.

“I’m almost there”, he smiled.

“Almost where?” he asked.

“The end.”