Why I Quit Smoking Forever

After a number of complications and a miscarriage, my wife Sneha was pregnant again. She broke me the news in the most beautiful way one could ever think of. It was a frosty winter morning and I was still snugged up in my blanket. Sneha came to me, gently stroked my hair and said, “wake up dear, sun is high up in the sky!”. With half opened eyes I could see she was holding a tray containing a couple of cups. Before I could ask anything, she exclaimed, “honey, let’s start our morning by having tea together!” I wondered what’s up with her as we never had such bed habits.

However, I did not want to disappoint her and so I cheekily said, “Ok dear, as you wish” and sat up. I then noticed that there were two neatly arranged large cups containing tea and in between those two large cups, there was a tiny cup containing milk. My eyes opened wide and I looked at her, puzzled. She blushed and lowered her eyes shyly and then took out a pregnancy test strip, hidden under the bed cover. I looked at the strip excitedly and to my sheer joy, the result showed positive! Yes, there were two pink lines on it! Sneha drew me closer and softly whispered, “Baby, we are going to have a Baby!” I was flabbergasted and was over the moon. I was at a loss for words but my teary eyes were speaking everything. I took her face in my hands, pecked her cheeks and hugged her again and again.

But the very next minute, worry overpowered my happiness. I booked an emergency appointment of a gynecologist to check if everything was fine. Bitter experience in the past made me anxious and apprehensive. I was not ready to lose my baby at any circumstances this time. I grew extra conscious and took extra care of her. I made sure that she ate only home cooked healthy food. I personally checked that she took all her medicines on time. I refrained all our weekend outings and except for a monthly visit to the doctor, we barely moved out. Sometimes, Sneha complained to me of keeping so many restrictions on her. But I always persuaded her saying, “Honey, it’s the matter of only a few more weeks. Our little bundle of joy will arrive soon!” She would always smile and happily agreed.

Days were passing by and everything was going on a smooth pace. But one thing always troubled me. I was addicted to smoking. Not that I was a chain smoker, but apart from one smoke in the day, I always needed one after dinner. Though I smoked maintaining a considerable distance from Sneha, I always felt guilty. It always bothered me that my wife, a mother-to-be, is doing her best, but me, a father-to-be, can’t quit smoking to do the least. Each day I decided that I cannot harm my family anymore and today will be the last day. But that tomorrow never arrived.

 

Finally, the wait was over and that big day was around the corner. My wife was rushed to the delivery room of the hospital. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I was going to be a father in a couple of minutes. Out of anxiety, I badly wanted to have a smoke. Expecting to come back much before the delivery of the baby, I ran to the smoking zone. But as soon as I took a few puffs, my cell phone rang. It was my mom. “Where are you at this time?”, she yelled. I immediately threw the butt and hurried towards the delivery room. And there it was, the twinkle of my eyes, as white as snow, as soft as a cloud, my little baby boy, relaxing in the arms of his granny. I wanted to grab him immediately. But here I was, loitering and searching for the washbasin as I had cigarette smoked hands. I felt really disappointed in myself. Anyway, after a few more minutes, I was holding my baby in my arms. I couldn’t resist my tears from rolling down. I was the happiest person on the earth. I thanked God and my wife for giving me this precious gift.

But I think destiny had decided never to make things easy for me. The doctor informed us that the baby is a little underweight. She continued, “Please don’t panic, we have to put your baby on a ventilator for some time as his lungs are weak and not completely formed.” I was dumbstruck for a while. Only one thought struck me at that moment, “it’s all just because of me.” My inner conscious cursed me for being so selfish and careless. I felt it’s my smoking which has harmed my baby's lungs. I really don’t know how far it was true but I was extremely guilty of myself. At that moment, I decided and swore will never touch cigarettes again. I had actually quit smoking which changed my life forever.

By the divine grace, my baby was healthy soon and was discharged from the hospital within a week. Now, every day he gives me a reason to live and to be happy. And yes, about smoking, it’s in the past!

Nothing is impossible when you really decide. Addiction is a vice of the mind. Strong willpower will conquer all your weaknesses.