Visarjan

It was 7 pm and there was murmuring of drums from my office when I left for day. It was a difficult day as I was struggling with my thoughts about her. It has been 2 months since the mediator tried to convince her but now it seems she won't return. Crossing the drizzle of rain I reached bus stop waiting for bus.

Those beats of drums were celebrating my victory. Victory over situations and hard times. An adrenaline rush made me feel that I have not only cleared UPSC but I have been a good administrator. I could hear my heart reverberating, "this is the time, don't stop now, throw your everything to reach the goal, universe will surely make you reach" The kids were celebrating in aura of spiritual beats. The poor, the old everyone was on their feet and not in cars, as if everyone is homogenous by feeling of oneness and unity. Joy, when bonded with uniformity and resonance of happiness, creates pleasure. But my mind was witnessing different things. It was saying that dude, look at their faces all happy they are happy for you because you fought till date with tides of time and are standing tall. You need to work hard to work for them. 

I could see drizzling of rains and water in my eyes falling together on to the road. Somehow I swiped tears with fingers, realizing that it's time for fight and not for cry the only time cry would come in my life is only of a war cry.

Everyone says that this shall pass. But everyday is struggle here. I have to collect broken pieces of my heart and bind them with trust. Make my mind realize that love trust and kindness do exist. It takes little effort for mind to realize this. As it has faced severe shocks it isn't ready to accept. But with everyday exercise it works well, few days it feels too tired and exhausted with no reason. That's when I have to hold him strong. Courage and ability to survive along with preparation for exams make the dates change quickly but it's the holidays and weekends that are more painful than week days. But it's life and I have to move on find reason of my birth work for society for mere personal loss doesn't mean I'm perished into piles of hatredness. I'm knocked down at this stage but I shall rise and remind everyone that love and feelings can only survive between battle of materialism and show-off.