U-Turn

IT was July evening, the air was fresh and crisp after a good spell of rain, things around me looked as if they all had been wanting and waiting for it to quench their dry bodies and souls The rhythm of droplets on the windscreen of my car were pushing my heart and feet aflutter Suddenly I heard myself asking my driver to stop the car near promenade.And oops I jittered, the voices in my head are taking charge over me, as the car stopped I started walking towards marine drive promenade.

The sea swelled and was in full youth as a teenager brimming with coming hormones, daring anyone that crossed its paths.Cautiously, I took small steps and let my hair loose and be drifted by that breeze.

Yes, I belonged to this place I touched the stones over promenade around an old tree and tried to reach out to the feeling ingrained in my heart, it was after a gap of twenty years that I was coming back to my city but yet the feel was same Again my emotions took better over me I rushed back to my car and asked the chauffeur to take me to suburb Mumbai unwittingly he reminded me madam we have to go to Malabar Hill your home but seeing me in pensive mood he started moving without my answer

Events from past started unfurling before my eyes, within minutes we reached Juhu

The fact that the building where I was born was replaced by a swanky mall did not deter me from taking a detour of the place The sounds of doubts and uncertainty were put to rest when I saw that bank “my first bank”still standing tall among those buildings I couldn’t negate the sense of relief i heaved after locating it. IT, it was as if a child who was lost in a crowd had suddenly seen her mother.

Let me transport you to my life twenty years back

It was here that I was introduced to the two elements of my being”head and heart “

Head as I started my financial journey from here

My father opened a savings account of mine here and thus ingrained a habit of savings in me. I too would then deposit all the money received from every Mumbai visiting relative, my school and college scholarships further swelled it.

Knocking at the doors of adulthood my visits and status changed to solo and independent. After two three years I landed a job in financial wing of an MNC

Becoming a salaried girl made me cynosure of everyone’s eyes, and frequency of my visits to the bank increased. Then the same place introduced me to feelings of heart.

On one of my such usual visits I saw him He was a new recruit, Sameer was like a cool breeze in scorching sun he was like a small pond in the dry desert, he looked like a sunflower in the cactus field His charismatic personality couldn’t be inked.His deep intense eyes made me skip my heart beats And I started going to bank on every little pretext just to catch a glimpse of him.One day I got a call from bank it was him on the other side asking me to visit bank and update KYC I pinched myself because it was only in that week that I didn’t visit bank

Next morning I held all the waves of emotions crashing against my heart I tried to look calm and dressed up in my bests and went up to his table, Without creating any platform for any conversations and faking anger he asked me “Why have you not come for so many days, Do u know how worried I was”

I blushed and stunned in an instant blood rushed to my face, It was fire on both the sides, there was no way I could mask my excitement.

And started our love story, the place of meetings changed from bank to cafes and beaches We were viable financially and socially so taking oaths of living and dying together and tying nuptial knots did not seem to be distant dream I was on cloud nine to have found him, the only thing I didn’t like was that he never had any time outside his office, meeting him there was rather easy than meeting him outside, So many times our 6 o clock movies meetings would end in a fiasco Even he would understand the tug between love and living at times he would say, ”Neena, I would have kids only when I have time for them as I want to cherish their childhood”.

Things were going very smooth between us and anyone could see an impending alliance. And suddenly life took a u-turn he vanished like anything not taking my calls or coming to bank My world came crashing down when I heard he got married I was devastated.This was end of life for me.

Slowly with my family’s support I got up again and with vengeance I put myself into my work; subsequently, I got promotion and got myself transferred to other city.

As the pangs ebbed and my heart healed I too got married

Life again smiled on me with a very loving husband and two daughters I was the CFO of my company and was transferred to the financial capital.

And here I was again after twenty years back in this city There were no regrets no remorses but just a “khalish” a pain a pricking desire to know why he did so Now back from past

Next day I again went to that bank on the pretext of knowing about my old account To my utter disbelief I found him there heading that branch I just wanted to barge in his cabin and seek answers to my questions But serenity prevailed my senses, fire in exchanged glances soon went cold and I left in a buff.

Next day I got a call from Sameer “Neena can I see you at the same place same time “without answering I disconnected the call, But as time passed i grew impatient to seek my answers and went there. As usual he was late

As he came I realised his charm and charisma has been traded for his position in office he looked quite pale and old for his age The pain of guilt was writ large on his face After exchanging pleasantries he started, ”Neena that day (20 years back)when I rtnd home after meeting you I got a call from an unknown number informing me that my father had met with an accident. I rushed to my village, My father had gone to a pilgrimage along with his childhood friend on the rtn the bus fell into a nallah. His friend died on the spot and before dying took word from my father that he (my father) will take care his daughter and my father in his last moments asked me to fulfil his promise So I had to marry Sunita and now I have a daughter aged eight.”

Surprised relieved, assuaged and curious were the range of emotions I went through.

For several minutes we sat in silence and finally Sameer asked, ”A penny for your thoughts, Neena” and it spilled out of me “Sameer, your daughter is so young.”

“Yes, Neena during these twenty years I got three promotions and subsequent transfers to remotest parts of the country, without any amenities and comforts around I did not want to bring my child into this world “

We both fell silent again, no words no glances exchanged, the knots of guilt and anger had opened. It was just a string of beautiful past now. We said goodbyes and as a courtesy, I asked my driver to drop him. He politely negated the offer and said, Neena it’s not possible for your swanky car to reach bylanes of my area.

He called for an auto and I took a U-TURN to home The audio of car was playing an old Hindi song “kabhi kissi ko mukamal Jahan nahi Milta” The sky was still overcast but by few clouds

The night melted all my pains and anger; the morning sun refreshed me like a Dewdrop.

While on my way to the office next day I sent a mail to the bank to transfer my account from Juhu branch to Malabar hills branch “My Home branch “

I lowered the window of the car the breeze was fresh and cool but the sky had no clouds they all had vanished the last night only.