The Male Ego

“You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it” said George Bernard Shaw.

I find it rather strange that in our search for happiness, we do almost everything but scarcely feel the accomplishment. In our struggle of survival, many of us ignore the most obvious of solutions to most of the problems faced by us in our encounter with our spouses, a four-letter which could break any barriers – TALK.

How many times we suppress our feelings and fail to convey the same in a refined manner to our spouses, resulting in misunderstanding and even damaging relationships. Sometimes, the means of communication could be written rather than spoken words, through a letter or a note.

But for skeptics who might say, that it is better experienced than said, here is a live example yours truly experimented with great success.

The other day, an argument erupted and resulted in bad blood and threatened to spoil my fifteen-year-old marriage. Both of us relentlessly fought saying that each person is right. The argument went on and on and suddenly I realized that the situation was getting out of control to a level of no return. Although we fought every now and then – like any other couple – today, it was not the usual. I desperately searched for a solution.

Suddenly, I remembered an anecdote that I read in Reader’s Digest long ago. It suggested that the wife write out all her spouse's deficiencies, mistakes etc., as perceived by her on a paper. I also volunteered to do the same.

So I went and brought two plain papers and put them on two clip-boards and handed one over to my wife along with a pen. I set the timer and we both started to write without looking at each other. I stole a glance at my wife who appeared to write furiously. Smiling to myself, I simply wrote, “I Love You” fifteen times and with a mischievous smile on my face, handed over my note and triumphantly looked at what she had written; expecting a long list of my deficiencies and mistakes. 

My ballooned ego got punctured right away because she had written; “I too have read Reader’s Digest and of course, I love you too.”

Needless to tell the reader, that we had a hearty laugh and forgot that a few minutes ago, we were at each other’s throat!