The Life Script

I am a very staunch believer in fate. I believe that we are all born with a script, a ‘life script’ as I would like to put it. The problem is that this is a secret and never revealed until it actually unfolds in our lives. Perhaps this is what we call as our ‘destiny’.

I was finishing graduation in 1977 and had chalked up ambitious plans to do my post-graduation and become an IAS officer. At my age, most of us are lost in our different worlds and dreams. We hardly concern ourselves with the realities surrounding us, and therein lies the catch. My father, a government servant, was reaching his superannuation which coincided with my graduation. My elder sister was still not married and I had two siblings younger to me, the twins, who were nearly ten years behind my age. But these realities and their implications on my life were absolutely lost on me, immersed as I was in my own world of make-believe.

It was when my father sat me down one day that the reality dawned on me. 

“ Son, you will be finishing your studies soon. What do you intend to do thereafter? Have you thought about it?”

“ Yes, of course! I will be applying for post-graduation in Commerce and then prepare simultaneously for the next Civil Services exam. I want to be an IAS officer so that I can serve my country.”

“Excellent!” My father said. “Are you aware that I shall be retiring soon?”

“What? No! When?”

“Next year in November. Well, you are no doubt aware that we are finalizing marriage for your sister? Most likely that the marriage will be fixed for September next year.”

“Oh! That’s great! What do you want me to do, to help you?”

“ We have to move out of this house once I retire, this is a government quarter.”

“ Shit! Where will we go?”

“ We have to look for alternative accommodation. You might be knowing that I do not own any property, anywhere.”

“That, father, is a big problem. And marriage. Do you have sufficient savings for the marriage?”

“We will manage the wedding, don’t you worry. But after spending on the wedding I may have very little money left.”

“ God! How will you manage? Pension?”

“Just enough for our rations.”

“Why did you not tell me all this before? Here I am dreaming of further studies and we have no house to live in and no money either. Dad, why are you telling me all this now?”

“Because this is the right time for you to take some responsibility for the family. Look, I have done some research.” He pulled out a sheaf of papers from the table and passed it on to me.

“ This is the application for the UPSC Clerical Grade Exams. You don’t have to be a graduate to be eligible. Fill this form and sit for the exams. Pass it and you get a secure Government job with some Ministry. That will also make you entitled to quarters, on compassionate grounds as I would be retiring.”

I was shocked out of my dreams and aspirations. I had no choice but to take the test and find myself a job. My ‘life script’ had just undergone a huge edit. Well, I passed the test and stood 13th in the All India Ranking.

This is how I landed my first job even before graduating. I gave my university exams in April and joined the Ministry of External Affairs in June 1977.

You have rightly gathered that I was forced to take this job due to pressures on my father, and of course in the larger interests of my family. But I was determined not to forgo my dream of becoming an IAS officer.

My memories of my first job at MEA are perhaps the best of my memories. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I had a wonderful time and the four years at MEA helped me to rediscover myself, brought radical changes in me and completely changed my perspective about life. I was allocated a department in the Ministry called the ‘Central Registry’. It is actually the GPO of the Ministry where all the post, official and personal came in and went out. It works round the clock throughout the year. Here I met almost every employee of the Ministry, had access to probably every Indian and foreign magazine possible and made friends with a variety of interesting people. Later, I would work under Mrs Nirupama Rao who went on to become the Foreign Secretary! I had some of the closest encounters with women here and even ran a group which would have daily discussions on politics, sex, human frailties, religion, spiritualism and what not!

The most important lesson I learnt was that whatever plans you make, whatever dreams you may have; you have to be conscious that there is a ‘life script’ for you which you do not know. Respect changes in your plans, don’t get frustrated because your dreams were shattered. Take the course correction gracefully and you will never regret. I quit the Ministry to take up a job in the general insurance industry. I rose to become the CEO of several organizations. I do not know where I would have been if I had stuck to my first job.