The Desire To Live Forever

My life has never been fair with me always. Right from the very beginning when I lost my father to the cruel disease which never showed any concern and care at the time of declaring a death sentence. Yes, it appeared such unjust and unfair to me at that incidence. Negativity was just sown. As life progressed and rejections from friends, and failure to succeed like others progressed and fear within self gave way for the roots of negativity to penetrate. But life did not plan it that way. My mother is my real strength. Whenever my heart said, you are an utter failure and you are good for nothing; my mother stood right next to me and said, 'Is anything impossible for you? Good baby, you can do it this time too.' Her words are my all time strength. Whenever the haze of clouds of doubt and mistrust wanted to overrule, enlightening words of my mother said, 'You're good.' That was how my childhood kept moving to fathom the gaps.

But as you step on into adolescence, the world of confusion and self-discontent overrides. So many challenges withing a group for identity, power, respect, and many more things always leave you with no choice but to bow down because at this stage you have a situation but you do not know how to handle it. So finally I too became a blind chaser to what the world wants and started ignoring the silent coos of my heart within who never lies. Over the years, I found that my chasing is not at all leading me to any place, instead, I am stuck in the whirlwind which is nothing but a blind hole. That was when my heart desired a break and wanted to take a long rest from all these things. I really wanted my life to change. I wanted a miracle to make my life once again beautiful and take me far far away from my mistakes and wrong choices which I made. I really wanted my life to become anew.

But practically life never changes like this without bearing any consequences at all. We actually bear the load of all we have done throughout our life. But at this point, I want to write my life a new way. That was what my heart desired all the way.

This was the time I started searching for the purpose of my life to reorganize it according to the purpose of my life. By this time my heart was convinced that the comparison business going on was not at all beneficial and I need to find a new dimension to assess myself and keep myself sustained. So purpose appeared to be most appealing to me because no two people are going to have the same purpose of life nor two person will have the same viewpoint on each situation. So when things are not the same there is not point of comparison at all. There I for the first time saw myself as unique, capable and a successful person. I felt good and I admired myself for the first time. My life changed with this change of prospective. Furthermore, the more I moved towards my purpose, the more I became confident and perfect in all my approaches. And I feel my almighty was quite graceful when I moved on my purpose.

This was the time of my life when really miracles started materializing in my life and I was surprised as to why everything that was once my dream and innermost desires all of a sudden getting real. This I could very well observe in my life and these miracles were positive and quite inspirational for me and I wanted their miracles to be an inspiration to all the generations who is yet to see this world and who do believe in miracles, not to lose hope but everything is possible in this life. I wanted my life story to be an inspiration for all who fall down but do not want to give up but desires to once again stand up and be the lamp post. So I started writing diaries recording every event of my life with all its minute details as to how I was a failure and how a ray of hope completely transformed my situation. Every event of my life said a story of inspiration that kept me going all through the hardship yield the real reward.

Writing stories was my all time dream right from my school days. I always wanted to write some stories but to imagine and create was not working during those days. The real imagination actually began when I gathered my own experiences from my failures and my set backs and how I over come fighting them. So after years of maturation in the fire of life, I actually bloomed into a great dreamer whose imagination fathoms the horizon which fails to express its limits. So I finally became an inspirational writer.