The Agony Of A Dog
The Agony Of A Dog14 mins 457 14 mins 457
Moti, that is I and my father Jacky had come down to Delhi from a village, a few years back.
The reason was that the village landlord’s bitch Basanti was fascinated with my youth. We used to meet often secretly at the parapet of the farm, behind the landlord's mansion, and hummed a few songs of our loyalty.
Unfortunately, the same thing happened to us, as to the heroes and heroines of Hindi movies. From the socialist point of view, the problem was of the bourgeois and proletariat. I am a destitute dog of a poor farmer, Bansi and Basanti the light of the landlord's mansion. Therefore, the only son of the landlord, 'Gabaru', stood between us as a villain. He used to get fits of madness seeing Basanti with me. He often attacked me with stones and sticks. One day, mustering the courage, I bit Gabaru. Poor fellow had to take 14 injections. For such a simple issue the landlord passed an order” Kill Moti at first sight. ”
Therefore, my father thought it wise to leave the village, So both of us came to the city, under compulsion, wagging our tails. Basanti cried a lot that day. She was pleading, “Moti, take me too or else I shall die barking. ” But then father stopped Basanti saying, “Why are you barking unnecessarily? We are leaving under compulsion because we have become homeless. At the moment we have no arrangement for our stay or food there. We shall call you as soon as possible."
In fact, father had told the truth at that time. Delhi city seemed very strange in the beginning. The behavior of dogs and humans was alike here! They would bite everyone. No one wills to talk frankly. There is no culture. I know that the same condition prevails even in villages. But they extend courtesies to outsiders considering them as guests. I wished to catch the train and go back to the village, but the cruel face of the landlord prevented me from doing so.
The problem of housing in metropolis is really acute. I understood this within two days. My God! Even animals do not like to live here. But still humans live comfortably in thatched houses like insects and worms. They have even grabbed lands by the side of rivers They have not even left lands for the animals to live. I used to get angry in the beginning but now I have pity, seeing the fate of the two-legged animals.
In the meantime I , being a petty creature, also had the good fortune to see dogs and cats living in big mansions with cars, probably because of the virtuous acts of their past life. What a life style these animals have? Pass urine and stool on the cot itself! Sit on the lap of the master and kiss the cheek of the mistress!
I got angry on myself often and asked God, ”Why have you not sent me as a dog in a rich man’s house? How much fun do the puppies enjoy? While the children of humans crave for tea, they have a blast on milk and cream! The poor do not get even dried bread but they eat mutton and chicken. See the plight of humans. They are dying without medicine but thousands or millions spent on the treatment of dogs and cats? Expensive doctors are called from abroad? Oh God! How much compassion have you given to the rich!! Who says that rich people are ruthless? While in village, I prayed to God to grant me a human life in my next birth (which we are told comes after eighty-four million births. But by seeing the plight of the urban people this confusion also has disappeared. Now wandering in the streets of Delhi, I pray to God, On any account make me a rich man’s dog, birth after birth so that I can have the pleasure of eating and drinking and also enjoying the pleasure of sitting in the lap of the fair-skinned memes”.
Well, this relates to the future. I was referring to the problem of housing. In the beginning, for a few days, we somehow spent our time living on the footpath along with humans. Finally we found a place to live in a drain near a government school. Now, both father and son, imagine the fresh air of the village while tolerating the stinking air of the drain and seeing the green field of the school, imagine the farms and fields of the village. Both of us took a sigh of relief!
I have been unfortunate, since the beginning. If I get one thing, the other thing is snatched away. Only four days had passed after solving the problem of housing when the staff of Municipal Corporation came one day with the vehicle to catch the stray dogs and took away my father who had gone in search of food. Since that day my father has not returned. I consider that he had reached his heavenly abode (or the Hell) after hearing from an old itchy and sickly bitch from the neighborhood. She told that her young husband too was lifted by the Municipal Corporation and had not returned till date. I call her Tai because of her motherly love for me.
"Tai, what do these Municipal Corporation people do catching the naive dogs like us?" I asked, scratching my itchy ears.
"Please, do not scratch in front of me, I feel itchy too. " Tai also said scratching her ear.
"Okay Tai, I will take care from now on. But what do these Corporation people do?" I asked barking again.
"Some people say they are killed by gun!" Some people say that are given injections to put them to sleep! Some others say that they mix poison in food. There are as many opinions as the number of mouths. Tai, in her excitement, started scratching her ears sometimes or her legs which tickled me strangely.
Really! I felt for the first time that there was so much pleasure in scratching which was not found in anything else in this world. "How cruel are the humans? They are worse than the dogs!” Sighs came from my heart.
“We have got the praise for our loyalty from humans. ” Suddenly Tai got angry and barked while scratching. “Men roam like stray dogs themselves but when we roam in search of livelihood we are caught. Only Maneka Gandhiji has understood our plight. She has supported mute animals like us. All jugglers, snake charmers, hunters of the country have started starving. ”Saying that Tai began to scratch the itch leisurely.
"Okay, I would also like to meet Maneka Ji. " I expressed my happiness.
"Who will listen to you, sonny? Humans do not listen to themselves. You will be caught in vain, if the Municipal Corporation people see you. ” That’s fine Tai, but how long should I live in fear?"
"All days are not the same, sonny. Be bold. Look at me; I am an unfortunate young woman feeding my five young daughters. ”Tai cheered him up while scratching her itch. “ Don’t get panicky, be fearless and care free. Take off your rustic costume from today and become a full-fledged Urban Babu! "
"Urban Babu?" I asked surprised, "How is that?"
"The idea of taking off the rustic dress means forsaking straightforwardness and naivete. " Tai barked and explained the literal definition, ”Urban Babu is one who adopts selfishness, hypocrisy and stubbornness. Even if someone dies or pleads for mercy he doesn’t bother. He doesn’t even look at them. ”
“What is the gain?” I asked in embarrassment.
"Moti dear, the gain will be that the city will be yours and you will be the son –in- law of the city” Tai explained making him understand.
From that day, I took Tai’s words as gospel truth and started behaving in the true color of Delhi. Now I too have started chasing the speedy vehicles, like the urban dogs here, realizing that it was my prime duty and religion. It is especially fun to run after two-wheeler as the drivers get scared and stop blowing horns. By the way, I also have a lot of hatred for two-wheeler ever since the day I and my father came to Delhi from the village, wagging our tails. This is an incident of the same day. We had just got out of the bus stand when an idiot scared us by blowing the horn. The sound of the horn was very similar to the voice of a powerful bulldog. What did happen then? We were running forward and the idiot went on chasing us, blowing the horn. We were being intimidated. After running about one and a half kilometers we looked back and saw the reality.
Father used abusive words, in a typical-rustic style, to the two-wheeler. The urban dog started laughing to see our rustic behavior. Since then I remember the incident whenever I see any two wheeler and start chasing it madly. One day a bicycle rider got scared so badly that he narrowly survived an accident. Apart from this I too have got accustomed to snatch away the bread from others like other urban dogs. I started getting pleasure in biting the pedestrians. Without any reason I started barking seeing which people got scared so much that they could not dare to hit me with a stone or a stick.
All the married and unmarried dogs of the locality are happy with my progress. Recently, I have acquired English language proficiency due to the kindness of some dogs living near public school. Just because of my barking in English, a rustic countryside dog like me has also been considered a literate. Earlier the dogs which used to ridicule me as village rustic, I am teaching them English now. In fact, the synonym of culture and refinement has changed in metros. The ruling political party of dogs had recently announced the award of 'Dog-Ratna' to me which I refused to take at the behest of Tai. Tai said clearly, "After receiving the award, political party members will drag you too into politics! Then you will not be a dog, you will become a human being! "
"What do you mean by human?" I questioned.
"By the way, you will remain a dog, but after going into politics, your actions will become like humans!" Then you too will start creating an atmosphere of deceit, hatred for others! Step by step, you will plot conspiracy against your enemies! You will start asking for votes sometimes in the name of religion and sometimes in the name of caste. That will create riots! No my son Moti, do not get into these troubles. Live as a dog in the community of dogs. Never be a human. Reject these awards. "
"Tai, how do you know all these?”
"Son, I'm not a bitch of the pavement. My childhood was spent at a former minister's house. It was only from there I came to know all these. "
"But Tai, how did you come to the footpath?"
"Son, I got itchy because of eating sweets and had to come to the footpath. "
"It's a painful story of yours, Tai!" I shook my tail and showed my feelings.
"Forget these old things, son. Tell me, have you ever been to the Parliament House? "
"No, what is that?”
Wow Motil! You say that you live in Delhi. Surprising that you have not even seen the Parliament House! Then what did you see in Delhi? "
“Tell me clearly Tai, don’t pose riddles to me”.
"My son, only in the Parliament House, all the wise and great people elected from all over the country gather and fight with each other. " Tai explained, "Sometimes there is even a scuffle and fist fight. Once the former minister, with whom I grew up, had his scull broken”. "Why was he attacked?” I asked
"They were opposing the ruling party for the inflated price of onions when the onions were hurled at the poor former minister which broke his head. "
"OMG, is politics such a bad thing?"
"Yes son that is why I am telling you to forget the award. Kick the award off. ”
On the behest of Tai when I had kicked off the award, the media and newspapers made me a leader of the public. My life story was made spicy. On television, the anchor screamed telling how I became a culturally educated urban from a rustic of the village. By the way, the ‘prize kicking trend' has been established even by humans to become popular. Every second or fourth day, some artist or litterateur keeps on rejecting the award. I am probably the first person to do this great work among dogs. Recently, Dog Daily News also offered me editor's post after seeing my growing popularity. Only on the behest of Tai I had rejected this offer saying that it was the job of useless persons. "Get some flop writer for this job whose poems and stories are read by none.
Tai was so happy to see my current progress that she happily got her elder daughter Kali married to me. Yes, one more thing which I forgot to mention. Now I do not die of hunger. Daily I have a blast on banquets. We never went any where in the village without invitation. But in the city of Delhi , like other dogs and people , we used to gate crash all marriages and last rites ceremonies, without invitation, as if it was matter of our right. It is rightly said, “Whoever is shy, has the effect of bad Karma”.
Tai and her five daughters also support me a lot in the freebies. Despite the itching, Tai has no problem with halwa. Now I am bored eating royal cheese, peas, chickpeas, and halwa-poori. Now, I get pleasure only in drinking liquor (You might be thinking, a dog and that too an alcoholic! Well, how can it be?)Sir, the answer is ready. Nowadays, the drunken fellows are found lying on the roadside or in tents behind the wedding parties? Merely by licking their faces we get intoxicated enough. Then the smell of alcohol creates a strange frenzy on my mind and heart and then I consider myself no less than a hero or a super-star. Even the rotten bitch appears to me a Miss World or a Miss Universe. To get this great pleasure of alcohol, that is, to lick the face of the drunken fellows, I often flirt with other dogs of the locality. Sometimes there is also a scuffle. I have become a successful hero ultimately. After all, a strong liver is needed to keep alcohol addiction alive
While the days were passing happily licking the mouths of alcoholics, an accident occurred one day. It was when Tai had gone out in search of food alone to invite her death. Poor thing was in the middle of the road when she got very itchy making her scratch on the road itself. Then a speeding DTC bus crushed the poor thing relieving of her itch once for all. Humans are often victims of road accidents but I feel deeply shocked by the death of an animal, especially a dog, as the saying goes “He died like a dog. ” However, among the dogs, it is called 'Poor dog died like a man’. Leave it. May Tai’s soul rest in peace? Being in kinship, the responsibility of all the daughters of that old woman has fallen on me.
As a result of this, today I have five wives. Earlier the dogs of the Muslims were dominating as they all had four wives, but now I am in awe. All dogs give respect to me. (In my opinion everyone should have four or five marriages. ) The advantage is that no one rides over your head but serves you without wagging the tail.
With five wives, the life was being spent merrily for the past several years. Sometimes, we remembered the village and Basanti when the heart was filled with remorse. Meanwhile, I heard that Basanti has also become a mother of a dozen children in the village. I was satisfied to know that Basanti has also established her home. She did not become Laila, sorrowing for missing me.
Hearing the news of a dozen children of Basanti, I have now taken a new vow that the population of dogs should also increase similar to that of humans. Only then the rule of dogs will prevail and the sole dominion of man will end from the earth. All this is possible only if every dog has four to five wives.
When there are six billion humans in the whole world, then dogs should be around twelve billion. Every few minutes a human baby is born, so at the same time, there should be four to five puppies born to a dog. Now I am only a bit away from the record of Dhritarashtra's hundred sons. It is expected that by the end of this century the record will be in my name.
But when I told my heartfelt wishes to my five wives, do you know what happened? All the five unfortunate wives dumped me into a gutter of a sewer and disappeared for the whole day. In the evening when they took me out of the gutter, I was told that all the five had gone to the sterilization camp and got them sterilized! How sad!
© Mahavir Uttranchali