Story Of A Writer

What is the meaning of being good? Since medieval era to small city culture one always on display and always had to take into account what others saw and said. Man’s true worth was determined by what other people said of him. Parent’s had a single desire and expectations from their child that he would be a good man, good in studies, good in behaviour, got a good job, be a good son, be a good husband and be a good citizen. Ironically these good were defined not by that person but by our patriarchal society.

In such family, I was grown up where my father had a great expectation from me among four children. My father scolded my elder brother and sister for their academic performances and this would be enough dose for me to redirect my daily routine. This really worked for me and I managed to produce good results in my schooling days. My elder brother was in 12th and my elder sister was in 9th when I was in 6th, so I have plenty of books in my house. Specially text books and a small amount of children magazine like “Nandan”, “nanhe Samrat”, “cricket samarat” along with “Manorama year book”, General knowledge , “Akhand jyoti”, books on yoga and gaytri parivar literature. These books created a fertile ground ready for any type of crop. I collected some poems and short stories from these books and made my own book from this bizarre selected content.

When my father was at home we had to study so, we all siblings got into the habit of reading comics , we put comic book into our text book and study for hours. I remember that I drew some pages in picture story after reading plenty of comics. These were just part of our fun, writing was never much appreciated because study for exam was supreme goal. One of my physics teachers once challenged the class that, to write was not a child play, one had to imagine by heart and expressed his ideas into words ,rare persons had such qualities. Those words and admiration for writings from my teacher did a great wonder to me and I wrote a patriotic poem of independence day. I was appreciated by teachers and friends. I wrote some poems on corruption, aims, exams etc. I maintained my diary which was full of these poems and a rich collection of songs and poems of renowned writers.

In west U.P or I can say in north India if you are a little good in study you have to pursue science stream, art stream is for weak students. I was also victim of this custom. I became day dreamer and align myself to be a good but my definition of good is yet to be discovered. There was a long summer vacation that time and I got chance to read “Panchatantra” , Science books, 501 amazing facts and magic tricks books, Saras salil etc. I wrote poems only which were based on Utopian realities. My Nana was a wonderful storyteller and I was always took journey in imagined places with his stories. I read a lot story books when I visited to my Nana’s house. I was a family poet at that time. My elder sister always appreciated my creation and gave me platform for sharing my basic instinct that came into words and listers said this are the poems. My elder sister got admission in Maas com. after BSC , This gave me a great exposure , My poems were published in daily newspapers, I got chance on AIR programme in YUVA VANI. These extrinsic motivation helped in upbringing of intrinsic motivation that remained at core, to express myself into words. Write for sharing my insights , my vague expression was my poetry and I was a poet for myself who had a long vision and imagination which was propelling me into my strange world where I need nothing but myself.

I reached Delhi for aircraft maintenance engineering, here I inclined towards English literature and started my interest with “wing of fire”, “ who moved my cheese” , Shiv khera and Chetan bhagat also. I spent ten prime years of my life in this metro city and taste life from all angles. These were the days when I started writing articles for my students whom I taught, I would take tuition and tuitions brought me in life of my students and I guided them for career and that unauthorized colony became action ground for young social worker. I joined BSW from IGNOU, completed MSW also from there and associated with NGOs and chose my definition of being good. I imagined that all solution lies in quality education and started with my own start up. Other side of my life was going simultaneously, I wrote many poems for a girl who became my love and left me alone after four years of relationship. Those poems were appreciated a lot and first time my acquainted released me that I wrote like a writer. My students pepped me a lot and I was a awesome poet for those.

There was a time when I had a great career conflict and finally my passion took me for a fellowship in Azimpremji foundation. My scattered ideas and seeds of dreams got suited atmosphere here and grew with pace here. I got new dimension of perspective ,content and pedagogy of education here. I read a lot of books here wrote reflection on them ,some of them were “Animal farm”, Why did you learn at school” , “ Education and society” and many more. I got opportunity to read philosophy, history books like kant, then theories of human being , Discovery of India etc. I found reason for writing here more than expressing myself. I still believe that express myself was core reason of writing along with it I wrote augment my understanding, share my arguments and critic others in logically. Now I expressed easily my views into poems and articles and essays in both language Hindi and English. Hindi being my first language was always my first choice for my emotional expression and that was why my mostly poem in Hindi language. English was not a language of my choice. I wrote in English when it demanded by situation as reflection on English book , larger audience of English speaking and I personally wished that I was to write in English.

I started write on web portals like blogs, Pratilipi, Story mirror and other social media platforms. In Hindi I wrote sound but my struggle was writing in English. I was writing academic articles well in English but writing a story and poem still is my wish list. 52 week contest of story mirror was that platform that propelled me writing in English, one story a week – yes it was not a easy task ,to think a plot and complete it within seven days along with my profession. Writing could be hobby not a career ,this though was long cherished thought since my childhood. But now I began write story every single week in English and these stories were liked and commented by reading -writing community. This became a high calorie fuel for my intrinsic motivation for writing. I could again imagined myself as a professional writer. This platform gave me an unique discipline for writing, I wrote mostly in Saturday -Sunday before 12 midnight for submitting my creation into contest. These habit are helping me in other domain of writing also like documentation ,reflections and poems. I had to manage time in spite of a rather hectic schedule , writing became my basic need like breathing, food etc.

I am program consultant of math and science therefore writing fiction and stories is not easily accepted with my acquainted. I was a seasonal writer for them but regularity which I got from story mirror building new canvass for me where I can brush my imaginations and dreams. Story mirror gave extrinsic motivation and kept alive intrinsic motivation of amateur writer. I am a writer for my colleagues, I am a writer for my family members, I am a writer for my FB friends and I am a writer for those who liked and comment my stories on Story mirror. I write realistic , on mathematics, fictions ,on human values and my vision -to create just, humane, equitable ,sustainable society. I am a baby who dreams to walk a long journey, got a walker(story mirror) which helping me to learn stand on feet, taking first step so that I can go miles and never stop until final destination.