Journey of Motherhood: The Beginning

"Just a single line!" Rai cried, coming out of the toilet with the pregnancy testing kit in hand.

Anand was still sleeping. Hearing Rai's cry, he jumped out of the bed and rushed towards her.

"Give it to me, let me see", Anand asked for the kit with trembling hands. He took it and went towards the window. Removed curtains so that he can take a closer look. He also became shattered momentarily. Indeed, it's just a single line. His eyes also got moistened but he concealed his tears from Rai. Otherwise, she would be devastated by seeing Anand cry. He looked outside the window. It was raining incessantly since last night. And as time passes the intensity of rain is also increasing. He is unable to see the giant banyan tree on the other side of the road. Except for the boundary wall of his house over the garden he could locate nothing. It seems the whole area has been wrapped with a white sheet of raindrops. He could see that his garden is filled with white ice balls due to the hail storm.

Rai loves to watch hail storms. At other times she would have rushed to the garden and collected big ice balls. Anand thought of cheer up Rai by telling her, "Rai, look how big the ice balls are? Do you want to get some? Let me get it for you." But today is different. Rai does not answer. She keeps on weeping by sitting on the floor by the door. Anand tries to console Rai by hugging her. But she does not respond. An acute sense of failure for not conceiving, months after months and years after years, shattered her from inside. Anand knows this very well, but he is helpless. He wants to help Rai but he knows nothing could cheer her up now.

The kit is still is in his hand. He stands up and goes towards the dustbin. Before putting it in the dustbin he looked at it for the last time. To his astonishment, he sees that the second line had appeared very faintly. Now he became confused. His heart has filled up with strange hope. He shouted "Rai, Rai! Do you have another kit with you?"

"No, this was the last", Rai replied coldly.

"Look, it's the second line, though it is very faint," Anand told Rai with ecstasy.

Rai jumps out from the floor and rushes towards Anand. She took the kit from Anand her heart also filled up with merriment of becoming a mother. She again told Anand " Last month you bought 2 kits. I used the first one last month itself and this was only left".

"I'm going to buy, don't take anything until I come". Anand told Rai.

He practically runs towards the washbasin, brushes his teeth hurriedly, took the car key, and swiftly walks to the porch. He doesn't care to change his nightdress or put on a shirt and jeans. He continues in his white Bermuda shorts and a blue T-shirt. He opens the main gate, jumps in the driver's seat, and took the car in reverse at full speed to the 3 roads crossing near the banyan tree which is nearly 300 meters from his house. He leaves the main gate open.

This is the first time he drove his car in the reverse direction for such a long distance. He never did this kind of reckless driving is his whole life. He is a very careful and attentive driver. On a normal day, he reversed his car from the garage to the driveway, took the turn right-hand turn towards the space between the garden and kitchen wall, then took the left turn towards the gate in the front direction and drive out of the house. After leaving the house he always made sure that the main gate was closed. If Rai did not close the gate he usually parked the car at the roadside, got off from the car, and would close the gate by himself.

But today is different. Anand thinks in the last eight years he and Rai had paid visits to so many temples, had carried out numerous rituals with full devotion, consulted too many doctors with just a single hope that one day Rai will become a mother and he will be a proud father. Even last month Rai had to undergo the surgery at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Delhi. Whenever in the office or his friend circle he got an invitation for birthdays or got the news of someone becoming a father he always keeps it to himself and cleverly refused to attend. Even when his older colleagues asked him about family planning details he dodged the discussion every time with some alibi. He never told Rai about it. Because he knew that these kinds of news would make Rai depressed. Rai was a very healthy girl before marriage. Except for normal cold and fever Rai never suffered from any ailments. After their marriage in May 2012, everything was quite normal. They had decided that they would not go for a baby in the first two years. The problem starts when Anand was transferred to Dehradun. After coming to Dehradun in July 2013, Rai started to have very irregular menstrual periods, and sometimes her bleeding continued for over a month. Upon consulting with the gynecologist she was diagnosed with Polycystic Overy Syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is a kind of hormonal disorder. Enlarged ovaries and the formation of cysts of various sizes caused by PCOS. Irregular menstrual periods and problems in conceiving are the effects of PCOS only. After knowing this they decided not to wait for 2 years rather continue to try for a baby right away.

It is 06:15 am now. The community gate is closed. It will open at 7:00 am. He blows the horn at the gate for the gateman. Gateman appeared after a minute from his hut rubbing his eyes very annoyingly. Anand signals him to open the gate. Seeing Anand he immediately comes into action. He rushes into his cabin, comes out with a big umbrella, opens the gate holding the umbrella in one hand, and salutes Anand with the other hand. Anand drives to the chemist shop at the end of the boundary wall of his community. It is closed. He then drives to Ballupur Chowk. But finds nothing. All the shops, even the teal stalls which would usually open at 5:00 am to cater to morning-walker, are closed due to this torrential rain. He understood that except near the Doon Hospital he will not find anything here. He doesn't waste time and drives towards the Krishan Nagar Chowk. He could see only a small distance due to the heavy rain. Putting the wipers at full speed doesn't seem to be helpful. But he ignored everything and drives along the Chakarata Road. From Kishan Nagar chowk he took the right turn towards the Ghanta Ghar. After reaching Ghanta Ghar he finds that the whole area is submerged with water. He can only identify the road limit by the divider and roadside shops. He knows that if he lowers pressure on the accelerator this clogged water will enter into the engine through the exhaust pipe and will cease the engine. The only option is with him is to go back. But he is determined. He put his car in 1st gear and drives through the water with full force on the accelerator. The engine roars, RPM increases to 6000. At times car jerks due to water pressure inside the exhaust pipe but he does not stop. Eventually, he crossed the watery portion and reached Doon Hospital. He is right indeed the chemist shops are open. He quickly buys 2 kits and drives towards home. This time he does not take the route through Ghanta Ghar. To avoid the waterlogged area he takes the longer route through Parade Ground, EC Road, Cantonment Area to GMS Road. He reaches home at 06:45 am. He parked the car outside and rushed inside.

"Rai, Rai. Where are you!" Anand called Rai. Rai was in the kitchen. Hearing Anand calling her, she runs to him. Anand hands over the kits to Rai.

"What took you so long? Why you were not answering your phone? I was scared, I was calling you so many times, so many bad thoughts were coming to my mind," Rai cries and tells Anand in a single breath. Anand realized while going out he completely forgot to take his phone with him. His phone is still lying at the bedside table in silent mode. He apologizes for not taking his phone with him and pacifies Rai by narrating the whole story, how difficult to drive in this rain, how he drove through water and he had to go all the way to Doon Hospital to get the kits.

"Take the kit, go, and check again. I'm waiting here." Anand tells Rai. She went inside. Anand keeps on waiting in the lobby. A few moments later Rai comes out and handed over the kit to him. This time he sees that the second line is there but it is still faint. Anand and Rai both become confused at looked at each other. Quickly he decides to go for a doctor's consultation. The hospital will open up at 8:00 am. Now it's almost 07:05 am. He tells Rai to make bread toast and omelet for breakfast and get ready by 07:45 am. He rushed to the bathroom and bathed very quickly, completed his puja. At 07:30 am he is at the breakfast table. Rai has also completed breakfast preparation and served Anand with bread toast, omelet, and coffee. She goes inside to get ready and within a few moments later she joined him at the breakfast table. They hurriedly completed breakfast. Anand runs towards the study room to collect his office belongings. He told Rai to lock the house and bring those 2 used kits in a packet along with her. He wishes to show it to the gynecologist instead of just narrating.

Anand is waiting in the car impatiently waiting for Rai. He has become really tensed and praying to Hanuman Ji, Maa Jogamaya, Maa Bhabattarini all along within his heart to make it positive. "Please give Rai the joy of motherhood. She has suffered a lot. Please god, shower us with your blessings." Anand whispered.

Rai joined in within a few moments. Anand drives the car to the hospital. The concluding meeting and presentation of last year's project are scheduled for today. Rai knows this. She tells Anand to drop her at the hospital and go to the office to attend the meeting. She will call him if needed. Rai knows Anand was preparing for this meeting and presentation for a very long. He had burnt too much midnight oil to make the work perfect. He worked day and night tirelessly for this project. She doesn't want to ruin this. Anand doesn't answer, keeps on driving very attentively.

Both Anand and Rai are very cooperative with each other since the beginning. Both of them understand each other and their love for each other is endless, though they never speak up. They used to fight day in and day out but their fight never lasts more than an hour or two. Probably this is the reason that despite all the setbacks their marriage is sailing so smoothly. If the whole world goes against them, Rai knows very well Anand is there by her side. And Anand also knows that no matter what happens Rai will always be there with him by his side.

They reached the hospital. It is not crowded at all. Probably due to rain people have not shown up. They go straight to the gynecologist. The doctor is in her chamber. Dr. Mrs. S. Joshi knows Rai very well. She is treating her for the last 2 years and with her advice, only Rai underwent surgery. Anand narrates everything to Dr. Joshi and shows her the kits. Hearing everything Dr. Joshi suggested to go for the Beta HCG blood test and an ultrasound. She explains that many times pregnancy kit gives false alarms. In Rai's case, she doesn't want to take any chance. She hands over the blood test and ultrasound requisition note to Anand. After coming out of the doctor's chamber Anand makes two phone calls. First, to his boss telling him that he would be unavailable for 2 days due to some medical emergency and the second one to his colleague Udi to manage the presentation. His boss knows unless there is an utmost emergency Anand would never ask for leave. He told Anand if any help requires he and his team is just a phone call away.

Anand wastes no time, takes Rai with him, and drives straight to the Diagnostic Laboratory near Kapri Trade center for the blood test and ultrasonography. At the laboratory, they have to wait for 4 hours before the tests are done. All the time Anand sits patiently beside Rai and doesn't go out for tea even for once.

All the tests are completed by 12:30 am. The doctor tells Anand to collect the report in the evening. They come home and have their lunch together. Rai goes to the bedroom for an afternoon nap. She is exhausted. Anand goes to the study room and tries to concentrate on his latest novel. But he is unable to do so. He falls asleep at his desk.

At 5:30 pm Rai wakes up Anand and serves his afternoon tea. He quickly glanced towards the wall clock and makes the call to the laboratory to know whether her report is ready or not. The lab assistant informed Anand that report is ready. Anand leaves the tea and rushes to the lab.

At the lab, he collects the report with trembling hands. He opens up the blood test report with much trepidation.

Beta HCG level is 15,528 mIU/mL. She is nearly 6-7 weeks pregnant. He crosschecks and double checks the interpretation of Beta HCG level with the report and with Google. To be sure again he opens up the ultrasonography report. It says "Single live gestation of 6 weeks pregnancy".

He jumps at his feet and comes out of the lab by literally dancing. People in the lab keeps on looking at him in utter surprise. But Anand doesn't care a bit.

While coming back he stops at Anandam, the famous sweet shop at Dehradun, and bought 5 Kg of sweets of different tastes and odor.

Parking the car at the garage and closing the main gate, he enters the house by opening the front door with a duplicate key, which he always keeps with himself. Rai is watching TV in the drawing-room and cutting vegetables for dinner. He slowly comes to Rai, hugs her tightly, and whispers at her ear,

"It's Positive! Yes, It's Positive! You are going to be Mother! We are going to be parents!".

Rai could not believe her ears. She opens up in tears hearing this and tightly hugs Anand. They thank God wholeheartedly for the happiness and joy he gives to them after waiting 8 long years.