I Hate My Dad

Kids in India have to have big memories to survive the long list of family members and uncountable number of gods they pray to everyday. The case with Krishna is not any different. He had lot of memories growing up not all good. But all memories are around his Dad and how he hated him. The first memory of his childhood was joining a primary school at age three. Yes, you read it right these Indians start their education at three. He remembers the school not for the happy moments but there was lot of crying involved on the first day and girl in the class asked him to stop. Well that is one way to dent any kind of self-confidence with girls. The school too is nothing to talk about. It had half broken roof with a narrow bridged path to enter the classes and was not even a school which teaches in English. The only sweet part of the day is running home at the end of the day, luck has it that his house is walk away distance. He made sure the school’s name never featured anywhere in his memories he wanted it that way. He tried to erase the memory off but something else made him not forget the school.  Every day, when he is running home he can see his Dad happy and smiling. He felt his dad is some kind of evil person to send a three-year-old to school and be happy. That running home and seeing his Dad happy made sure the memory is never off.

The school days went by without much of any memories registering until he was six. At age of six he changed schools. Krishna’s Grandfather’s friend happens to be headmaster to the first English Medium Private School recognized by govt., in the town and he decided the school is best for him. Dad says yes Krishna changes schools. This memory too is not a good one by any standards. He was demoted a class due to the disadvantage of not being from an English medium school. Now add to that the problem of not being able run to home as soon as school finishes. The school is somewhere in the middle of town, 3.5 kilometers away. For Krishna it was like crossing seas to reach. Krishna wanted to ask his Dad why did he not let me join the school at a younger age to save the humiliation of getting demoted or continue in the bad school to let him have the comfort of running home. Well Dad face was content as if he was telling Krishna “I made the right choice for you”.

Then came the entry of three greatest inventions of Modern World before Computer, TV, Cricket and Movies into the life of Krishna. TV gave him specs at early age of 8. Cricket gave him lots and lots of bruises and a few broken glasses. He did not make anything out of his passion the cricket. The mistake was trying to be a bowler, you can try anything from bowling fast, leg spin, off spin and for that matter try the weird Paul Adams action and it won’t get you anywhere. He found a copout in movies. It changed him from the first dialogue ever heard - “God gave two hands one to fend yourselves and the other to help others” from a movie of my favorite hero Rudraveena” at a young age to the latest one “Manners maketh man” from Kingsman. What did my Dad do? He takes me to movies on my birthday, watch TV with me and never said take up batting. It’s not that he would have become a Dravid or a Ganguly, but he expected some advice from Dad. Which seems to have not come.

Then came the teenage years the added pressure of getting into a good university. He was told by everyone in the family to become an Engineer, to be an engineer first he should pick up his grades. Actually out of nowhere he wanted to become first in class. Mind that he was just two, three people shy of coming last in the class. Comparisons started with friends and best friends and soon they became enemies for no fault of theirs. He was losing all his friends. The ones who got better grades treated him small, at least he felt so. Everything they talked felt to him like mocking him. It was not the lack of trying that his grades were bad only that he was catching up too late. He wanted direction somebody to tell him its ok, again he wanted to look up to his Dad. But he is too busy with his office.

As if the pressure is not enough his Dad took him one day to office. Krishna’s Dad is a revenue collector, he used to travel to small villages and collect electricity bills. He made Krishna part of organizing team for the events in their locality worst of all he introduced Krishna to politics. Before he was fifteen, he campaigned for the local politician. He went on to give his first vote, you don’t need to second guess it’s for his Dad’s choice and it’s a fake vote. Legal voting age is Eighteen. The next election the tables turned on his Dad, Krishna was sitting in the opposing party’s poll office and they started fighting for what they believed is right. Dad was never agreeing to his opinion and vice versa.

Even with all the distractions the Dad did not let Krishna miss the important part, Education. He put Krishna in a tuition which is famous for the supply of canes. Manhandling is very common in Indian schools that time and parents encourage it, it produced results. Krishna completed his middle school with good grade.  The journey does not end there. His Dad had bigger plans, he sent him to a school even more grueling. Luck has it that in 3 months’ time Krishna become a worst student from an average one. Krishna needed some kind of miracle to be able to survive this. That is when his interest in Mathematics helped him. He was selected to be groomed for better grades he started spending all his hours in school, his day started 6 AM and ended only at 11 PM when he started back home. This is the time his Dad to become unbelievable busy they ended up not seeing each other for months at a stretch. Before Dad wakes up Krishna headed to school and the time Krishna reaches home his Dad is already sleeping. The only good thing out of this is he got into a good university and Krishna has to start his journey of four years to become an Engineer. Dad’s contribution is dropping him at university and not even telling him a proper good bye.

Already he made it to a good university. As if that is not enough he fell in love. In any love story of India, the kids don’t get to tell the parents about their love, some well-wisher hiding in the bushes will help you. Their reason is they are very concerned. The same is case with Krishna his Dad came to know about the love story from some well-wisher. Before any of you go further let me tell you how marriage works in India, till the date of marriage you are not supposed to the girl and girls are not supposed to see any boys or have contact with any. You ask how they decide to wed. It is simple the Bride’s parents and Groom’s parents do some calculations as per the date of the birth of kids and decide an auspicious day for them both to get married. Ola and from the next day of marriage the couple are asked about when are they going to have kids. Love is completely forbidden before marriage. Krishna’s Dad freaks out Krishna has no way but to lie and make himself look like the bad guy. He did not complete the fight with Dad just postponed it. Meanwhile the Girl’s Dad come to know about them. She is house arrested Krishna like a hero he is brings her back and gets married. The icing in the cake is Krishna does invite his Dad. Finally, Krishna’s score starts moving up. Like any Graduate from a big university Krishna gets a job. Starts a family with his wife, again a big thing in India. Eventually Dad and Mom get to know that his Krishna is married. Mom shouts her lungs out but Dad is cool about it.

The days were going smooth. Krishna was bitten by a writing bug and gets introduced to blogposts. He starts to write jokes, stories and one fine day decides to write a novel and send to a publisher. The novel was close to 100 pages and Krishna completed this in 30 days to be able to submit to a competition. It did not get published. He was disappointed but he did not stop. He goes on to write many short stories, jokes, and blogs. There is appreciation from some but nothing is giving him the satisfaction as none of his stories are even published is some well knowns sites or magazines. One fine day, he decided to analyze his own writing. All his jokes ended up being a conversation between dad and son, in all his stories the prime character seems to be the dad and the novel is longing of a son for his long last dad and dad for his son. Then he realized something. His Dad was not around to help in school, he did not teach me to qualify to 1^st class in an English medium school, he did not help to get better grades and feel better in front of his friend, he did not help Krishna choose his university, he did not accept his love and his and his Dad’s political opinions were never same. But his Dad seems to be part of Krishna’s sub-conscious. He is everywhere without Krishna realizing it ever. Krishna confirmed he is obsessed with his Dad.

He decided to analyze the obsession which he felt was hatred this long. He hated his Dad for not being there when he wanted, but he did not realize his dad was there when he needed. He introduced him to all things important in life like Education, Politics, Sport, Movies and let him make a choice. He taught him pick what he wanted and chose what he felt is right. At the end Krishna was not very different from his Dad. It turns out his Dad was bowler in school, a movie maniac except for politics on which they fight till today. Some Indians believe there is a seventh sense which makes you behaving like your parents without even you realizing it well Krishna believed that too now. Now Krishna hates his Dad much, much more because his Dad did not let Krishna ever know he is making him independent man without Krishna ever realizing. Growing up made Krishna realize how much he misses his Dad.