I Am Carving Out To Be Me

They say that you should know what are the things in your life you are ready to die for. This is what you must be clear about inside and out. What is something deeply impacted you since now? Is it your first love which ended with an immense tragedy or is it something related to play someone false? For me it has always been a lie. A lie I had told to my parents, a lie I was telling to myself all the way long.

I tried to be the best and impeccable throughout the life journey of being in a relationship, exchanging pleasantries and even when we were not on speaking terms. I tried to be perfect and nothing can be handled beyond an extent. I now feel faded and not skilled enough to make everyone out there happy. I am beyond my own reach. I am trying to find my own self from so long but I am failing everyday.

How can I make everyone jovial in this world? No you can't my inner soul call out at the top of my head's voice. And this was the answer of mine. I really can't make happy each one of you. Sometimes I feel like you are the boss of my thoughts but no more restrictions now, no more suppressing now. I have found my own self in sadness and of course I like to live with that. I am no more beyond my reach because I have found real me. I don't need those people who are a lookalike of happiness. I remember the part of yours till last breath but I can't give assurance.