Dug A Pit And Out Came Amma

There was a small village named Chopta in the state of Uttarakhand. Mr.Phalane Chaupatia lived there. In his family was his wife, Mrs. Surasatiya Devi, who was called Surti Bhabhi by the villagers with love. There was a daughter and she was named Shakira. Her younger brother Dhamake liked his sister’s singing.

There were two buffaloes and the family lived by selling the milk. And yes, even a grandmother they had who was too old. She was so old, that many times the people of the archeology department had picked her up thinking her to be a mummy. Seeing her, it seemed that in her childhood she would definitely have played with dinosaurs. Her name was no longer remembered by anyone, so everyone called her old.

What a pair Phalane and Dhamake made! No, not like Ram Laxman, but like lotus and water, such as pajama and nada or nails and itching. Without the duo, both were useless Dhamake was also a very lively person. There was a great desire to be famous and for that, he always kept doing some scandal. Once I had to understand from him that those who do snake dance are normally not taken by the people of Dance India and for making a fort of dungs require no talent.

Thus while watching TV, one day, Dhamake shouted out: “Brother, come here”.

After spitting the betal juice Phalane said: “Coming.”

Dhamake said:” Brother, nowadays there is no pleasure in living”. 

I have told you to get kimam added to the betal leaf; you will get the juice in plenty.

No brother, something should be done, to get a name for Chupta and also for ourselves.

After hearing this, Phalane could understand that he will do something naughty. Chupta village got the name on the very day when the people of the village accepted the message of Vidya Balan. They had accepted, but did not understand the meaning. “Where there is thought, there is a toilet”. This means to think well and make toilets not that wherever you feel, defecate as in toilet.

But he was a brother, so what could I do, I took a sigh and said,” Tell me.”

Damake winked his eyes and asked,” Tell me what happened a few days ago?”

It so happened brother, Damake, “I had loose motions two- three times and had taken the medicines”.

“Not that brother, what was shown on TV?”

“What?” asked confused Phalane?

“Didn’t that girl fall in a borewell?” Yes, in Bihar, Phalane remembered .and he was also a prince How famous he became with the media, the police, the leader ... all had reached.

“So what?” asked Phalane

Brother, borewell is being dug here too. If someone falls……..

On this Phalane shouted,” Shall we push Shakira into it?”

“No, “said Damake stretching his hands; not Shakira, but the old lady. Even otherwise, the whole dayshe is lying on the cot; one day she will stay in the pit. Brother imagine how much name she will have? After becoming famous once you can be on TV, Big Boss and even win the election of Sarpanch. The matter became a little clear to Phalane.

Phalane said: “In case no one turned up?”

 So what, brother, our borewell is just three feet deep; placing a ladder, we can bring out Amma . But will Amma agree to it?

“You leave it on me,” Damake said.

Amma asked, “What is the matter?

Old lady lying on the cot shouted,” I am still alive” along with it she added a few chosen abusive words.

“Amma, how many times have I said not to worry, but you think that all lanes make fun of you,” Damake said.

“Amma, did you hear? What Budbudeshwar Baba has said? Tomorrow is the eclipse, whoever goes under the ground by three feet and worship will straight go to heaven.

Shit! Have I lost my senses to go underground?

Hey Amma, it is true, look it is there in WhatsApp too.

Now Amma could not see anything, but Parabatia Aunt always used to read for her some message or the other of some God's religion received through WhatsApp in her mobile; so Amma used to think that everything was right in WhatsApp. Hmm, Amma asked “Is our borewell of 3 feet then?

“Yes old lady”

Your mother may be old. Make arrangements. I shall worship the whole day tomorrow from inside the pit.

“Alright Amma”, Dhamake told smilingly.

The preparation had started. His neighbor Karia was also summoned and explained, after all, he had to gather the crowd. A carpet was laid inside the pit. A radio could also be placed for the old lady. The ingredients for pooja were also placed Then Amma stepped down the ladder and the act of sheer folly started.

Surti Bhabhi shrieked, “Amma has gone. The old lady has gone”.

Karia and the others came running: “What happened Bhabhi? Has the old lady passed away?”

Surti Bhabhi told wiping her tears, “No, she fell into the borewell”

So, what is there be panicky about; it is a small pit. Let us bring her out now...

Just then Dhamake shouted, Are you crazy? Understand the matter; go and give the news to the police and invite the news reporters

The police came and Amma was about to be taken out, by then the legislator, Fekuram Ji came to the house. Getting an opportunity to earn a name he said,” Only the army can get the old lady out.”

By that time the people had gathered, from news channels, journalists, governmental staff, workers of both the parties, samosas and chat vendors with trolleys After many years, a fair was held in Chopta. Everyone got a chance to serve one’s own interest by befooling others The iron was hot, all had reached with their own hammer.

Here Chugli TV was interviewing the entire family of the old lady.

“See the breaking news of the old lady's family for the first time, only on Chugli TV”.

“So tell me Dhamake Ji”hamake said: We tried very hard to appear on TV, do dance alone and even with our buffaloes, but none came from any TV channels. Now see, we also sing…...He reporter interrupted: Not that, tell us how the old lady fell into the pit.”Kay, Amma got up in the morning.....

The broadcasting of Khujli TV channels was on - see how the innocent old lady falls inside an old borewell. Is there any conspiracy behind it? We will tell you, it will remove your news itching, with cameraman Vimalesh with Kamalesh only on Khujli TV. Let's talk to MLA Fekuram Ji. Fekuram Ji said this is certainly a conspiracy of the neighboring country. Right now the army has come. They felt that the old lady can be brought out easily. But now the old lady was not ready to come out.

Without completing her prayer how could she come out? Budbudeshwar Baba had also arrived,

He shouted,” What Amma says is right; it is an attack on our religion, without completing her prayer we will not allow Amma to be brought out. Then it came to the mind of Phalane to enquire about her health condition. All came running near the pit hole.

Phalane made a loud inquiry,’ Amma how are you?”

“Yes , sonny, I am alive now”.

“Amma, I hope everything is fine. Is there any problem?”

“Everything is fine, except there is less air and I feel hungry”.

The doctors who were there had brought the oxygen tank but Baba roared again, “We do not need this western oxygen”. I shall show the Ayurvedic Yoga method. By saying this, Baba, bringing out his tongue, started hissing like a snake. 

Amma, you breathe like this hissing. Even the snake lives in a pit hole but breathes, is it not? So this is the way. And hissing sound started coming from inside the pit.

But, by then all the attention was diverted from Dhamake so he felt like doing something else. He shouted, “For the old lady we will now challenge the bucket of ice with our buffaloes and he brought a bucketful of ice and dropped them on himself and his buffaloes.

Nothing happened to Dhamake, but the buffaloes fled. Both of them got released of their tether and ran to ride over Baba. By the time his devotees drove the buffaloes, but by then Baba had a pure Ayurvedic dung bath.

Seeing all these the vagabond children, who were still trying to take selfies with the old lady, got excited and they started Kiki Challenge Dance themselves with their own bicycles. How can Surti Babhi lag behind? She took Shakira and approached the Ungli TV. Then the breaking news of Ungli TV was ready. See for the first time the dance of the grand children of the old lady only with us. See the fingering of the news of all TV channels by Ungli TV.

Music started playing in the shamiana and Shakira began to dispute.

All efforts have been made in the whole country for the wellbeing of Amma. Some people performed Hawan and some people kept Roza but the old lady asked for a pizza and ate.

Lastly, the spectacle was over in the evening and the old lady was brought out. There was a wave of happiness all over the country; even Trump from America sent a tweet of congratulations. The Prime Minister gave all its credit to himself. All were happy but Karia was sitting annoyed. It was known later that he had asked Amma to come out after propitiating Sani but in place of Leon, Amma wanted Deol to be called.

The next day there was news that the government had formed a committee to ascertain the cause of the hole. A scientist, connected with this committee, who was sent to the village, was found asking the villagers as to where was the old lady. People apprehended that the man was there to kidnap the old lady so they told lies. Everyone earned a lot. A song was made “DJ, Babu, Get a pit dug for me”.A new serial was made titled “My ancestors are in the pit”. A new movie was made in which a dictator coming from Afghanistan was putting all old women in the pit. But on this Budbudeshwar raised an objection saying that no one coming from outside can push our females into the pit and we only had the right. Even in Hollywood, the work started on movies of this type where the old woman would be brought out by superheroes wearing a half pant over their trousers and with a towel on their shoulders.

Chopta had become famous but Soorti Bhabhi was sitting annoyed. On asking she told “ “Dig wells instead of bore wells, I would jump into the pit next time”.