"Why Is She Like this? "

They ask her —
“Why are you like this?”
“Why do you laugh for no reason?”
“Why do you talk too much?”
She doesn’t know.

She laughs,
Not to disturb,
But to survive.
Because in that laughter,
She feels alive.
She feels light,
Like she’s flying,
Like the weight on her chest disappears
For just a moment.

But people don’t understand.
They scold her.
Some walk away mid-sentence.
Some say to her face,
“I want to leave you.”

And still… she smiles.
She hides her tears behind the smile
Because crying makes her feel weak.
Even though her heart is screaming inside,
She chooses silence.

They don’t see the pain.
They don’t know how even tiny problems
Feel like storms inside her.
A small word,
A cold look,
A careless joke —
It stays with her for days.

She doesn’t want to argue,
Doesn’t want to fight.
She just wants to be accepted.
Loved.
Understood.
But every time someone leaves,
She blames herself.

“I must be disturbing,”
She thinks.
“I must be too much.”
But how can she stop
What feels like the only way
To stay sane?

Sometimes she wonders
If something’s wrong with her.
Too sensitive.
Too emotional.
Too lost in her own mind.
And yet —
She keeps going.
Keeps smiling.
Keeps laughing,
Even when no one stays.

Because deep down,
She’s only longing for true love —
The kind she always gives.
Love that doesn't always mean a relationship.
Sometimes, it’s just care…
A warm voice,
A loyal friend,
A family's embrace,
Or simply being held in someone’s thoughts.
She doesn’t need anything more than this.

And yet —
Even this feels far.

So she prays in silence:
“Oh God,
Change me…
Or help me love this version of me.
The one who laughs too much,
Feels too deeply,
But only ever wanted to be happy.”