The Crime You Commit

It is okay 

To not be okay

But it is not okay 

To have to be okay 

When you’re not okay.

It is alright 

To fall 

But it isn’t alright 

To hit your head against the wall

Or pace down 

A restless hall

When all you really want to do 

Is fall.

It is just fine 

To reach out 

But it’s not okay 

To suppress your shout 

To have wide-open eyes 

And still blackout 

It is okay 

To be “home" and not know your whereabouts

But it isn't okay 

To say you’re okay when you’re not okay 

Without a shadow of a doubt.

There is nothing wrong 

With bloodshot eyes

And bones sticking out

That tell no lies 

But it is wrong 

To have to pretend otherwise.

It is absolutely alright 

To have thoughts violent 

But it is not alright 

To remain silent.

It is fine

If happiness takes a while 

But it is not fine 

If you have to fake every smile.

Why do you have

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to be 

What you are not 

Why do you have to bloom 

When your heart wants to rot 

Why do you have to conceal 

Your “not so beautiful by conventional standard" part 

Why do you pretend to heal

In the darkness of your rotting heart.

It okay 

To want to die 

But it is not okay 

To have to lie.

You can tell me 

That you’re tinted in shades of blue 

And I promise 

I won't get tired of you.

Call me

In the middle of the night 

Tell me there’s darkness 

How else will I bring you the light? 

Tell me your fire died 

So that your soul I can ignite 

But don’t tell me you’re fine 

When you’re taking pills with wine 

In hopes of never seeing sunshine.

Don’t tell me 

That you’re okay 

Those words echo of lies 

I know when you’re going through hell

You still smile 

So don’t lie to me 

Because that’s a crime 

I would know 

I commit it all the damn time.