The Bonding of Siblings

“Behna ne bhaai ki kalaayi pe, pyaar bandha hai…” (The sister has tied love around her brother’s wrist). It is that time of the year again when the world around is upbeat with beautiful songs about sibling love. The markets abound in little pop-up stores selling rakhis of all colours, designs and shapes. It’s Raksha Bandhan time! I was so excited at the thought of this occasion long-awaited with great fervour and joy in many Hindu households across India. While we the grownups look forward to family reunions and get working on Rakshi-special meals for our brothers, our little children have their own celebrations – getting messy making handmade cards, teasing their little sister by telling her they haven’t got her a gift (even though that big box of chocolates is clearly visible behind them) and trying to help with all decorations and preparations. I grew up in a joint family and that was my best childhood days, no regrets, only joyful moments with your siblings. Even my bua who is now 70 years old is still following the trend of tying beautiful raksha bandhan on her brother's wrist and pours gifts for them and homemade delicacies is a full 360 degree treat for them.

Staying with family is indeed a blessing when one learns not only the ritual and customs but also enjoys strengthening the sibling bonding. During my final days of schooling when we used to watch television together with family, we used to hear and come across many old endearing legends that depicted love bonding of brother and sister. My mother used to narrate me the incidences inspired from mythological tales like the love between Krishan and Draupadi, Vishnu and Lakshmi, love between Mughal emperor Humayun and Rajput queen rani Karnavati. When the battle was about to take place rani had sent a rakhi to Humayun. For the sake of his rakhi sister, he asked his troops to change direction. He instantly rode to help her, also making a promise that comes what may, he would protect his sister under all circumstances. When Lord Ganesha sons were sad for not having sister to celebrate raksha bandhan, then divine flames came out from his wife called riddhi siddhi and santoshi maa (the goddess of satisfaction ) was born.

Hearing these traditional legends we still feel that a brother’s love is unflinching, strong, and never breaks a promise, no matter how difficult to keep. I always new my brother would be my side and every year that raksha thread on by brothers wrist would seek protection whenever I need him. Life was running so smooth and happily. Every girl has a dream to get married to a prince or someone who will be as caring and understanding like her brother. But life plays a different game with everyone. The day I got married and till today it has been twenty long years I have not tied rakhi on by brother's wrist. I might sound childish and immature but everytime when I remember this day, I get drowned in the ocean of tears.

In this long twenty years gap, it is really unfortunate that we never got the chance of reunion or get together with whole family. You have grownup seeing all the rituals and it seems life has put a full stop to my celebration. Staying in a different city can be such a hindrance never thought of. Also in this fast changing world, we are all chasing time and trapped in our duties and responsiblities that the real essence of sibling bonding gets lost somewhere. Though my upper satisfaction allows me you to parcel my gift of love to my brother but my daughter, only child growing in a nuclear family has not even tasted the scent of this festival. For her its just like another day.

She can only imagine but not feel deeply. I feel really blessed that I spent my childhood in a joint family that enriched my sibling bonding and value of this raksha bandhan. For few people who had a bad childhood or bad relationship among their siblings or family, they hardly pay importance towards this festival. Aboveall, it is ones mentality to look things positively or negatively.

A brother shall continue to seek protection for her sister and a sister will continue to pray for her brother's success and long life. Time changes and so the place of joy, now its video calling room one can join and sisters can have long distant celebration online. No matter whatever ups and downs we all go through in life, I am enthralled that this festival will always hold a special place in my heart, the bonding of brother and sister is pure, magical, undying, and immortal.

बहन चाहे दूर भी हो तोह भी कोई गम नहीं होता, उसका प्यार किसी दुआ से कम नहीं होता, अक्सर रिश्ते दूरियों से फीके पड़ जाते हैं, पर बहन-भाई का प्यार कभी कम नहीं होता।”

HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN BRO !!