Random Function(s)

This is not a journal, a rant, or a suicide note

It’s nothing at all

Don’t read it

Skip, skip

People, people

All these people

Fucking maggots crawling in my brain

With your squeaky voices

Shadowed faces

Disproportionate, surreal hands

Like a painting in Cubism style

Picasso and Matisse

Can’t breathe

Nose is blocked

Can’t speak

The throat is parched, hurt

I want to be the neural synapses

Residing in every microcosm of your brain

I want to be the bile

In your liver that decimates all the toxins in your blood

I want to be the pulse of your heart

When you jump into the abyss over and over again

In search of your ‘self’

If such a thing ever existed in this universe

The clocks tick

Guns click

I vanish into the floor

Like a ball of camphor under the baptism of fire

Water flows and is everywhere

At the mouth of the river

In the sea, the ocean

My ears are ringing

Crushing my tympanum from the inside out

With the sound of silence

Eyes can’t focus

Fidgety, anxious

Hands and feet cold as death

I feel dead

I am dead

In the darkroom

On the rocky bed

I perch like a lonely vulture

Full of emptiness

As objects move out of sight

Become blurry

Until I see nothing

But an all-consuming

Darkness

I wish to light a candle

A big, red candle

Breathe in the smell of its wax

But they’ll crucify and burn me on the stake

For such an act of heresy

Jealousy, jealousy

Steam arises

A lark flies across the meadow

Perhaps waiting for the worms

Is not worthwhile anymore

I don’t want to make sense anymore

Maybe a doctor can help me

One who can mend a shattered soul

A nurse who can give me fowl meat

To eat, to feast

And knowledge to drink

From the desert of isolation

White, bony, peerless

Reflection of hell

Dante, Dante

I abandoned hope

Like a soap

Use and throw

Daily

Trash non-biodegradable

Sentence, structure, grammar, vocabulary

All can go fuck themselves

I will eat your heart and assXXXX too

Until a void remains

Until the promised night of broken glass and rotten wood and flaky paint

And bent steel and dysfunctional families covers dawn’s gray horizon

Corazon, Corazon

Papyrus before page

Symbol before civilization

Birth is disease

Fetus girdled in trillions of amniotic fluid molecules

Feeling low, kid

I feel you

I feed you

I am you

No more than you are me

Take me away

I wanna be a dog.