Dear Self

You have eluded me for a long time now

You have the strongest of the pursuits I had embarked on

You have somewhere quiet, away from those voices

You have over such trivial decisions

You showed up when I was just mindlessly crossing by the places

where I had felt so little of myself

I have looked for you 

In odd places with very little luck

I was the most frequent visitor of my past

I am going over one memory at a time. Wishful thinking with very high hopes, 

I looked for you in people I have laughed the longest with, felt the safest with

trying to read and believe the reasons I gave for doing so

thinking it must have been a lot easier to 

When You told me I am still there

Then I promise to stay there with you 

as long as it takes,