An Anonymous Sadness

Blank, confused

A new normal for me

Anxiety, stress

My new friends

Is this how my life is gonna be?

Safe and comfortable in my home

What's the problem?

I wonder

It's scary and dark inside of me

A time just like after the thunder

A little rain will make it alright

Clear the air

Make it a peaceful night

But it didn't rain. Did it?

I so hoped it would

Wanted so bad for those loud noises to go away

But nothing worked out anyway

Is my past knocking my doors again?

Or is it the feeling of being locked in?

I never was a social person

Where did it then all begin?

People say you just overthink

I certainly do,

Stop doing that and you'll be alright

But is it that easy for the sky to suddenly turn blue?

Nice weather was something I was waiting for

It did come but was a total bizarre

Swirling and destructive winds in the city of dreams

That's what it took to give a sigh of relief this far.

Every solution has it's good and bad

But what point if it only makes you sad

Indulge yourself in happy thoughts

That is the only thing I'm always taught

To say to my mind, stop and put an end to it

Thoughts which it took so much time to build

It doesn't work that way

No one understands

Every sad face is not depression

There are forms of sadness other than that

Unable to figure out mine, that's it

That's the issue

So simple as that

Dealing with the unknown is something that I never have

But meanwhile,

My friends, some real ones

They keep me sane

So does my sister who blabbers around

But brightens my day

My brother, who expresses his affection in his own weird way

And my mother, for whom I don't even have words to say

For them, I'll not let this unknown shatter me apart

They are the reason, I'll begin fixing myself from the start.