About Last Night

So it was one of those nights,

Night when I feel the lump

In my throat, choking me,

As I try to breathe,

The phone didn't beep,

Messages didn't come either.

It was one of those nights,

When facing myself becomes

The hardest step forward,

With every minute crawling

Like a giant scorpion,

Stinging me as I fail to breathe.

Let's not play the blame-game anymore,

You know it was my fault, isn't it?

Of course the insecurities couldn't be handled,

Of course you had better arguments to contend.

But who ever cared about the words?

Wasn't it supposed to be the soul that matters?

They say dealing with depression is difficult,

Have you tried being with one?

As I toss on the bed,

Trying my best to forgive myself,

It starts raining outside,

And with that, trickles down one from my eyes.

It's funny how one word could count so much,

One action that could make so much difference,

The vulnerability in my chest,

The weak knees that I felt,

Wish I could just tell you in words,

What you meant to me, but I failed.

The repeated apologies for being myself,

The incessant struggle to bear each day,

Wish I could just tell you that

You made it possible for me to sustain.

But only if you could realize,

What you meant. To me.