In this episode, I am speaking with Merrin Douglas or @hummusandcucumber on Instagram. Merrin has 3 and a half years in recovery and she accomplished that without the use of a traditional program. You'll see culturally things are different between the US and the UK as you’ll see in this episode. Merrin, because she wasn’t homeless and had a moderate sense of doing alright, felt that the addiction services offered were not for her. I am sure this is both a perception she carries and one propagated by the culture as well. That idea persists here in the States as well, as we see so many people not adopting a program because they are functioning relatively well in their opinion. In my opinion, though programs like AA and SmartRecover have done a great job in letting people know that you are free to get help in not drinking even if you just want to not drink.    

Merrin, I feel, is lucky. She is making it through the stages of her recovery with awareness and grace, but she is also having to take on the comments of others that are saying she is not an alcoholic. To that, I want to say, “Alcoholic” is just a label. We don’t need to hold a label to do anything, especially to not drink. Merrin is not trying to find a label to stick, to she trying to live her life with clarity, whether or not she is an alcoholic is not the question, the question she is asking is "Does she want to continue to drink?" which the answer today is a resounding "no."  

You’ll hear in this episode that Merrin had replaced her alcohol with other things and is still struggling with an active energy drink addiction, but she is examining, and aware, of these things. She turned to, and away from, journaling and reading, recognizing that her approach and purpose for doing those things were neither honest nor in line with her at the moment. We all dip into doing stuff and, during early recovery, we can get enamored with just about anything. Being sure we move forward with integrity and awareness is the key to really recovering ourselves. Questioning ourselves along the way is the only way to truly recover ourselves completely.  

You would never know that Merrin had no fellowship in her life. Those of us that come from the rooms, or are entrenched in some traditional program often believe that it is the program that holds the information, but the information is what created the program.   

Video of this episode https://youtu.be/XtwMvnQwaBc

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