Lost Hope
Lost Hope
As I sip this drink out a glass I reminisce about the past
Really missing all the homies that passed
Regretting the moments I didn't make last
Words that I couldn't take back
Things that I can never say to make everything better
Ride through the storm and it only gets wetter
The way that it's going I don't see a change in the weather
But whether it changes or not
I will always be stuck with these thoughts
My demons are screaming at me to give up
Just succumb to the liquid you poured in that cup
And That I know that I'm real
I'm becoming so numb
And I just want to feel
But then I think of my mom
Damn
Guess I'm starting at the basics
Sooner or later knew I had to face it
I got to be blinded about me getting famous
So now I am praying but knowing I'm faithless is hard
So I look to the stars
But I don't see em shining
And I know I got bars
But you don't see me smiling
I be stuck in depression I hide behind the music to cover
The fact that insanity's lucid the truth is I'm dying inside
I don't wanna live if all I live is lies
So look through my eyes and see what I see
Flow through my veins and bleed when I bleed
Take hold of my heart and feel when it beats
Cos' I could easily be the next one deceased
Then I ...gaze at the hourglass watching sand fall
As this time passes by and I don't give a fuck at all
How can I climb up this wall
How can I jump but not fall
How can I battle withdrawals
Why do I feel good doing drugs but feel like shit when I sober up
I Wanna relapse so bad I try but can't cuz my body rejects the stuff
It affects my love
Cuz I fell for lust
To the point, I can't feel shit unless I'm buzzed
That's some real shit
I'm addicted to it
Feeling depression but it's lifted the second booze is hitting
Like who you kidding
Been going through this my whole life
Still dealing with this since I was a kid now I'm a grown man
Killing all these rappers leave their bodies decomposing put remains into a shallow grave
Bars burying like Conan
Already sold my soul
Don't have much left
Barely have a heart but these beats help me sleep at night
But when I dream at night I get tortured
From things that I did that I should've gone to court for
Shedded so much blood could've caught me red handed
When I become a star I wanna leave this planet
Crippled from the stress man I really can't stand it
Smashing every mirror and I'm screaming goddammit!
Like what's next who the next to leave who’s the next to text death threats their next to bleed
Who’s standing next to me could be my down fall
Got no one else to blame it’s my damn fault
If I’m found face down on that asphalt
Will anyone try to remember me
Replay all the songs that I made back then find the message that I did this all just to helped these teens
NEVER
Lost hope
Lost dreams
Lost friends
Lost sleep
Lost grip
Lost creed
Most importantly I never lost me
There’s a couple of rules that I live by
That apply themselves to my morals
Most the time it keeps me safe and out of shit
But find other times I’m in quarrels