Running Back To You
Running Back To You4 mins 648 4 mins 648
I opened my eyes to the sounds of birds chirping....is what I'd like to start with but truth is that it was this damn near deafening sound of construction that woke me up. I sprang up from the bed half surprised at the unreliability of an alarm clock, but soon realised that I might be the one to blame for not sleeping all night in anticipation of tomorrow and not waking up for today.
Well, I didn't have time to think about these things as the clock was ticking, I hurried to the shower and then started to get dressed; now here is something you might be able to relate to, every goddamned thing goes wrong when you dress up in a hurry! My pants got stuck on the hanger and I buttoned the shirt incorrectly. But that didn't take priority now, I decided to skip on the breakfast and headed down to take a cab.
Twenty minutes were wasted down the street running after passing cabs like a madman but to no avail. Eventually, I took a city bus, here's the funny thing about city buses: you'd just have to stand near the gate and you'd be pushed in or out by the crowd without expending any of your own energy. I stood for about ten minutes between two other men with their almost spherical bellies bouncing against my front and back at every bump. It kind of felt good actually, like I was in a bounce house or something.
Then It happened, what some also call "the nightmare of he who is getting late" in this case me and the subject at hand being a big fat jam! In some old cheesy movie, I'd heard this line that 'If you yearn for something with all your heart then all of the universe conspires to get you to it', yeah! You see that was not even remotely the case there.
Anyways, that took about half of what little time I had. I got off and headed straight to the meeting point. On the way there was a flower shop, I went in thinking that showing up empty handed might not be a good gesture. Inside were a variety of flowers but I'd remembered that purple orchids were her favorite. Back then she always kept these on the center table everyday. She also loved wind chimes, and I recalled how happy she had been that day when I gave her the chime I made for her; that was one of the best things I liked in her, she knew how to find happiness in even the smallest of things and be content with it.
My recollection was brought to a halt when the florist approached me. I bought the orchid bouquet and headed out to the destination, I had some time on my hand and it was a short walk there so I slowed my pace. Walking by I saw many young couples, love was budding everywhere, but I knew that some of them were bound to fail, I had firsthand experience of it after all. But you know what? Its totally fine, life is in fact a culmination of trial and errors.
Even now I can't figure out the reason we broke up, I mean we were going at it fine, but maybe that was precisely the reason as fine was all we were, both of us were unhappy with the relation but didn't want the other to know. We took to anger as an outlet for these emotions and before long, we had reached the point of no return. We went our separate ways from there, I tried several other relations in these four years but none were like what we had and those all came off worse and I guess the same might have happened with her.
Then last Friday at the coffee shop while I was leaving she came in and this led to that and that led to today's date. What I was feeling right then was a mix of various emotions, the greatest of which, as the meeting point: the cedar was coming into view, might have been anxiety.
I was there first, it was understandable that she might be feeling the same sort of emotions, might also be hesitant. Standing there watching others and getting a watch from others, something came up,
'What if this restart was not a good idea',
'What if we couldn't get past being fine again',
'What if....what if she doesn't come thinking the same',
That's...that's right she wouldn't come,
How can I expect her to...'
I turned back and started walking back, the steps slowly increasing the pace.
What a fool I was..., and those faces staring at me in that bus, in that shop, near that tree, all were trying to tell me not to come. I..
My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice that called out to me, I turned back and saw her wearing the same dress that she wore all those years back on our first date. All those thoughts and all those emotions all vanished into oblivion when our eyes met.
[Insert song: 'Where is my mind' by Pixies]