Rest In Love

I am dying. My clock is ticking to end my circle of life with every passing moment. Here I am, fighting with death every single day just wishing to relish a few more sunrises with my love, to enjoy some more sunsets hand in hand, to see how blue the sky is, how green the trees are, and last of all, to be able to breathe - to be able to take in a big breath of fresh air deep into my lungs. These are the things which make me feel lucky when I see my body waste away right in front of my eyes with no control from my end. 

Ah...The power of Telepathy! As I was remembering my fond memories and desires with the love of my life and my only friend, here's a new message from him in my chat window!

(Smiling thoughtfully she leaned on to her laptop screen to read the message. The online chat window read):

Shooting Star: "Pinot Noir or Chardonnay?"

Black Swan: "Excuse me! My doctor has advised not to consume alcohol!"

Shooting Star: (With a mischievous smile)"Oh! Don’t worry dear, we will ask your doctor to consider you for a day!"

Black Swan: "Ok.. we will see to that! Well, if you insist... its definitely Chardonnay!"

Shooting Star: "So, what would you like for dinner? Snail Ravioli or Platinum Caviar with Golden Beetroot? (Smiling) Oh I smell some lip-smacking food!"

Black Swan: "Well, going by the increasing Cholesterol levels after consuming these exotic dishes, I would rather go in for a Salmon Greek Salad with Lemon Basil dressing."

Shooting Star: "Oh Come on! Its only one day! How can you be so boring!"

Black Swan: (Widely grinning) "Ok..ok.. you win I lose! You tell me how you want me to be dressed for the special occasion my love!"

Shooting Star: (With a teasing attitude) "Oh I want you to look the hot femme fatale in the evening!"

Black Swan: (Frowning) "But you know I am not that type! I have never dressed as a seductress before, nor can dress that way now! Besides, you know I look ugly now. I have rough, wrinkled skin, no hair, stained nails and a decaying weak body. How can I ever meet your expectations? (Almost teary eyed) I really think the date wouldn't be such a good idea... you would be embarrassed because of me and I would never want that!"

Shooting Star: (Feeling Sad) "You know sweetheart I am hurt today... I am very heartbroken to realise that I came across to you as such a shallow person who has completely no morals..But before you misconstrue my statement again, I want to tell you that I was joking when I said those things to you. All I need for a perfect date is your smile.. I can’t take my eyes off the beauty you radiate with that confident smile! "

Black Swan: (Teary Eyed) "Oh Dear! I am so sorry to have hurt you so much! I feel so bad now!"

Shooting Star: (Happily) "Oh That’s fine! Let it be! Let's forget this issue and be back to our happy selves again, all excited about the date!

Black Swan: "Yes.. meet you in the evening love! See ya! "*kisses*.

(Coming back to the narrative):

Hi, Sorry for the delay. Actually my laptop constantly beeps with messages from my Prince Charming all throughout the day...my love, he never leaves me alone.. my mornings begin with him and my nights end with him...chatting with him, listening to him, cherishing his soulful songs that he sings for me with all his heart. I live every day to the fullest with him. He stays with me throughout - all thanks to new technology and my laptop.

Surprised? You might be thinking my love would be my partner with whom I have spent my life so far and I wish to spend some more. You are absolutely right in thinking so, except for the fact that we do that through virtual mediums like Messenger, Phone and Social Media.

I have lived my entire life alone with no family and very few friends. Loneliness had become my sole companion in both happiness and grief. I met my soulmate only 8 months back when I got diagnosed with Lung Cancer and had already started counting my days. He is my consultant oncologist who is treating me with utmost dedication, patience and empathy for the last few months. I connected with him online through a mobile application for doctor consultation for a second opinion on my diagnosis and treatment. Since then, I have been sharing all my medical reports and health updates with him online, as he stays in a different city and considering my current situation, travelling is prohibited for me. I remember him asking me : "What's more important to you? Quantity or Quality?" I answered at once: "Quality". He had replied: "I promise you a quality life till the time you live and also a comfortable death when time comes."

From then on, he has been looking after me with unconditional love and care. He is an epitome of humility, his warm smile and kind words would alleviate half the problems of the patients, and the rest would be resolved through his careful concoction of the most accurate medications. Being a true gentleman to his core and out of sympathy for a dying woman, he initiated the online chatting option for me so that I can speak to him offline whenever I feel sad and depressed. Right from the very first day, he kept me motivated by making my present feel better. He would send flowers or urge me to watch good movies, listen to good music, he would send me jokes from the comic strips in the newspaper and so on. His sole purpose was to keep me happy and build in a deep longing in me to live long as possible. I naturally developed very strong emotions for him and his dynamic aura even when very little communication used to take place outside basic care. But I made it a point never to express my feelings to him because I was sure that the proposal would be futile. Expectations of love for a dying woman from a healthy man who has his life to live, is a bit too much, I feel.

One day, he talked about his family. His wife, his children, his father and their love for him, leaving me completely devastated. In a moment, I was back to my sorrowful days where I felt dejected and unwanted in this world. But I didn’t want him to know this as I was scared that our friendship would get impacted and my only reason to live will not be there anymore.

Then one fine day, the truth about his family was revealed and my happiness knew no bounds. He was brought up in an orphanage and the founder, whom he refers to as his ‘Father’, showered endless love and blessings to him to raise him up like an ideal man. He still continues to stay in that orphanage and look after the kids residing there and his ailing father too. Also, there is a kind-hearted lady who sacrificed her worldly happiness to look after these kids staying in this orphanage. The kids call her as their ‘Mother’ and my love as their ‘Father'. They both happily agreed to play these roles just to provide the kids with a normal upbringing, so that they would never be called an ‘Orphan'.

From that day onwards, apart from love, my heart filled with immense respect and gratitude for him and I felt proud to have a companion like him. I desired to live long again, just to stand by him through his thick and thin.

Gradually, we opened up and allowed each other to see right inside our hearts, he reciprocated my feelings and we delved deeper into each other in spite of knowing that this relationship has no time and no future.

He is the one who has taught me to embrace each passing day and be grateful to life for giving me another chance to live today.

He is the one who gave me the strength to start all over again as I wake up to a new day.

Today, as he is in town and I eagerly gear up for my first official date with my pen partner, amidst all the jitters and wonder swirls, all I wish is to have a new beginning towards the end.